Thespian Delights – which 007th Minute is this about?

In order to live up to our educational mandate and to keep our readers intellectually in top condition CBn decided to include various (read: 2) slight-to-mid-serious hurdles in this episode of the 007th Minute. Should you experience difficulties in deciphering this text and connecting it to a popular work of entertainment of 1987 you ought to spend more time at CommanderBond.net.

As always: Jacques Stewart’s opinion, wording, turn-of-phrase, summary. 

 

 

 

I come no more to make you laugh: things now,
That bear a weighty and a serious brow,
Sad, high, and working, full of state and woe,
Such noble scenes as draw the eye to flow,
We now present.

 

A worthy aim, even if it won’t quite come off. [If you don’t want to read on, assume that comment encapsulates this 007^th minute’s “plot”. It does lose itself in cellos and diamonds and tips for Mujahidining out; I know an appalling restaurant in Karachi, gave me a right case of the d’Abos and no mistake].

 

It’s product placement time, gang (don’t run, it’s not “watches”). Not subtle; I’m busy and am not shaped for sportive tricks and have emergency sitting down to do, contrived flippancy to mash out and humpbalm to apply. So, here it comes; see if you can spot it. Buy Charles Helfenstein’s book The Making of The Living Daylights. Do that. Do it NOW. If you’re more of a “visual learner” (i.e. you can’t read), imagine me holding it up and pointing at it as if t’were shiny coin – try not to be distracted by my “face” although you’re only human (or vaguely so). If you truly cannot read, your gawping at this nonsense is odd but, even more so, the book’s jawtofloor stupendousness will be lost on you; still, there are nice pictures. You could colour them in; I’m assuming your keeper allows you felt-tip pens, if only to sniff. If you can, though, read it. You have nothing better to do. You can’t have; you’re reading this. You were taught to read for stuff like Mr Helfenstein’s work, not to waste it on shallow guffbombs. Value your teachers, value your dignity, give yerself a treat and buy it and read it and learn and become a better person. It’ll improve you and make your willy ginormous. That’s (probably) untrue but it holds with the mendacious subtext of James Bond product placement, be it grotty watches or naff mobile telephones or nasty lager or delicious Huw Edwards.

 

So, that’s The Making of The Living Daylights.

 

This is not its unmaking.

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Off-‘Licence to Kill’ – The Spirit of its 007th Minute

image by ‘London looks’ (c)

February already? High time CBn’s resident food critic Jacques Stewart had himself a taste of Eon’s famous 1989 recipe ‘Licence to Kill’ (readers confused by the strange spelling can get help here).

Gourmet readers will find healthy doses of opinion and science-fact in this recipe. CommanderBond.net suggests a claret to go with this grand meal...

 

 

 

 

Bituvva scandal in 1989 at the moment about aJames Bond film value-brand “hamburgers”, whatever they might be, being cut with last gasp desperation for dollars horse meat; popular if uninspired product, delivered on a reduced budget, mixed with the unpalatable. At first glance this seems unfair on Eon Tesco, with its record of being reliable, if slightly insipid, with patches of quality – their lead character own-brand meatballs are the dog’s bollocks, for example. Still, unwise to mash up suspect ingredients and pretend everything’s OK, business as usual and this is in some mysterious way defensible. The consumer may well rebel. Or vom.

 

 
Perhaps we’re so spoilt by recent Gourmet Bond that it’s too easy to sneer at the cheap brands, too easy to buy identical ready meals equally questionably produced but sold in a nicely fonted box that smelly riff-raff cannot read – science fact, French Script MS causes scutters to immolate. Too easy to become the father who proclaims that his offspring go anaphylactic at the merest suggestion of a fishfinger and can only eat Danish pomegranates, Nepalese sushi and Egyptian Cotton. Taste the Difference CraigBond, all fancy and theme-y and hand-reared by posh directors rubbing the finest organic artisan jus into its skin to soothe it, relaxing it into production by giving it its own thoughtyurt and feeding it honeysuckle gravy with a hand-carved Inca lovespoon, or something, is it really going to be any better for your straining, time-bound heart than some reconstituted old bollocks blatted together by a greasy robot? It all comes out as light entertainment in the end.

 

There’s an argument that the cheap product is a more honest conspiracy between producer and consumer than asserting that because one’s Bond comes with shavings of free range, corn-fed cin-eh-mahhh on it, it’s better. If one acknowledges it cost tuppence to make then one is braced for it to be foul and there’s no point whining. How can it disappoint? You know that the film you’re masticating through is fungal gristle chivvied from the crevices of the Bond factory floor, bulked up with mechanically-separated violence; horrid, but still you partake.Perhaps it’s a guilty pleasure; there you go, pretending to like quadruple-fried free-range yam croquettes and Swiss Lobster when what you really crave is Scampi Fries and a box of damp Micro chips. In white bread. With marge.

 

 

It’s fatuously snobbish – and eyegougingly ironic, given the source of the comment – to liken some Bond products as being savourable at Sardi’s and others munchable at McDonald’s. I am fatuously snobbish. C’mon, you’d guessed. Even knowing full-well that Bond Sixteen wasn’t dealt a happy hand from the get-go, even knowing full-well that as a result I should be more forgiving and try to emphasise the points at which it outshone its meagre origins, even knowing full-well that I should accept that it was going to be dreadful and therefore spare all of us, myselfincluded, pointing that out at overconsiderable length, taking all those potential excuses into account it’s still, without doubt, one of the most disappointing films I’ve ever sat through.

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SKYFALL collects BAFTA and ASC Awards

SKYFALL has not only won over world wide audiences – it now has been awarded the prestigious BAFTA award,  in the category OUTSTANDING BRITISH FILM.

Thomas Newman also got the BAFTA for BEST ORIGINAL SCORE.

Also, Roger Deakins was honored as Best Cinematographer for SKYFALL by the American Society of Cinematographers (ASC).

See the whole list of nominees here:

http://www.deadline.com/2013/02/bafta-awards-2013-winners-list/

http://www.deadline.com/2013/02/cinematographer-awards-2013-asc-winners-list/

Worth another shot… in January

‘Chinese cleaver’ by ‘panduh’ (c)

January has been a surprisingly quiet month for us fans. Quiet not in absolute terms – just take a look at the wildly exciting speculation about all six Bond actors possibly showing up at the Oscar ceremony, the guessing game around this event’s Bond tribute and the five nominations for the Academy Awards – but quiet in a post-coital sort of way; a deeply satisfied, warm, lush and drowsy dampness after a major climax in the eventful history of Her Majesty’s favourite parachute escort. It borders on melancholy and one would like to turn back time and live through it all again.

Not that everybody was downright ecstatic about ‘Skyfall’. Yet it’s hardly overstated to claim the film has met with an overall very favourable reception by audience and critics alike.

As often is the case with this kind of ‘event’ productions numerous public figures seized the opportunity to delve into the – for most of them – foreign realm of film criticism and give their own opinion, often with entertaining results. One of the more illustrious figures to weigh in was none other than Sebastian Faulks himself, a favourite with British literary critics and ennobled by a fate which chose him to pen 2008’s ‘Devil May Care’, a Bond continuation novel tasked with commemorating the centenary of Ian Fleming’s birth, written “as” Ian Fleming and, in so doing, giving us Bond playing tennis, a Bond girl masquerading as a sex-slave heroin addict, death by administration of paddlesteamer and M doing yoga.

Mr Faulks delivered his opinion on ‘Skyfall’ together with his up-to-then-missing verdict upon ‘Quantum of Solace’, and for good measure provided readers with his professional insights into Ian Fleming’s literary character; all in a day’s work. A buy-one/get-three sort of deal; we are sure you can acquire ‘Devil May Care’ in such an arrangement, should the fancy take you. The resulting critique embraced such a revealing nature that it went a long way towards explaining – perhaps unwittingly – some fundamental misconceptions about both film and book Bond; though on whose side, one comments not.

However, Mr Faulks succeeded in making it into the headlines of The Telegraph and – never miss a good rehash; I know what I’m talking about – the Daily Mail. Further January headlines concerned themselves with the case of brutal butchering ‘Skyfall’ underwent at the hands of Chinese censors in order to gain access to Chinese theatres. The chopped version omits a few tiny details that weren’t deemed worthy of amusing the audiences under protection of the PRC. We were so very not-amused about this revelation.

Though on closer inspection the mutual outcry indeed seems a bit hard to understand. ‘Skyfall’ shares its fate with the likes of ‘MIB3’, ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and countless other productions I can’t be bothered to list here. It would have been much more of a sensation had the film made it to China’s cinemas without any cuts and changes.

A different sort of ‘Skyfall’ review was provided by cartoon artist, writer and illustrator Josh Edelglass, creator of the film parody web comic MotionPicturesComics.com. In January he finished a six-week run covering ‘Skyfall’. Premise of his web-comic series are a boy and his robot jumping into various films and commenting on the spectacle in tongue-in-cheek manner reminiscent of movie parodies in MAD magazine tradition . His take on ‘Skyfall’ can be found here.

Finally Jason Whiton’s fanblog Spyvibe rediscovered a piece of surviving Fleming trivia on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs website. The programme featured prominent figures in interviews with host Roy Plomley, discussing the show’s premise of  which records to have with you on a desert island. Fleming was Plomley’s guest for an August 1963 broadcast, of which just short of 10 minutes can be heard. Intriguing stuff indeed.

Worth another shot will return… in March.

Purvis & Wade & ‘Barbarella’

‘Barbarella’ cover (c) Dargaud, used with kind permission

Variety reports Bond script veteran team Neal Purvis and Robert Wade (amongst others involved in the scripts for ‘The World Is Not Enough’, ‘Casino Royale’ and most recently ‘Skyfall’) are set to pen the scripts for Nicolas Refn’s upcoming ‘Barbarella’ TV series. The project is based on a French comic book character invented by Jean-Claude Forest which in turn inspired Roger Vadim’s 1968 cult sci-fi film ‘Barbarella’ with Jane Fonda in the lead.

Read Variety’s article here.

‘The Making of The Living Daylights’ back on Amazon

Fans of Timothy Dalton and his debut as 007 in ‘The Living Daylights’ were ecstatic to learn last December that renown Bond scholar Charles Helfenstein had made this film the topic of the second of his exhaustive ‘Making-of…’ works (after 2009’s ‘The Making of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’). Those who didn’t order right away were severely disappointed when Amazon for a short period put this item under review and for about ten days buyers could not obtain the book directly from Amazon. CommanderBond.net now is happy to announce both Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com again stock the tome and sell it directly.

You can also order the book at Barnes & Noble.

Good Start For Skyfall in China

Skyfall is winding down at the US box office and movie theaters across the world, but in China it just opened on Monday adding another $5.1 million to its total gross. That’s three times what Quantum of Solace did and a good 14% increase over The Dark Knight Rises which also opened in China on a Monday. Factoring this in to Skyfall’s worldwide total, it currently sits at $1.046 billion.

This past weekend Skyfall passed the $300 million mark in the United States.

Happy centenary to you, Aston Martin!

Over the five decades of his cinematic history James Bond has survived countless dangerous situations and hair-raising perils. A whole arsenal of ingenious gadgets and secret weapons helped Her Majesty’s agent 007 in saving the world – and his life – time and again. One of the most exclusive of these accessories has become so closely related to Bond’s status as cultural icon as to be regarded as near synonymous with him today: Aston Martin. In 2013 the marque – a jewel in Britain’s automotive industry – celebrates its 100th birthday.

‘Catching Bullets‘ author Mark O’Connell and CommanderBond.net congratulate Aston Martin on 100 years of high performance in style on the roads of Britain and the world. And on providing a fitting means of transport for 007.

Here’s to the next hundred years and countless future adventures in Her Majesty’s Secret Service!

(Artwork kindly provided by ‘Catching Bullets’/Mark O’Connell)

The Spy Who Loved His Car (007 Parody)

James Bond loves his Aston Martin more than anything else…damage it and he might have to exercise his licence to kill! Check out CraveOnline‘s new comedy skit inspired by events in Skyfall.

To discuss this video visit it on youtube or the CBn Forum thread.

Happy Anniversary, Aston Martin!

“That interesting car of yours…” Goldfinger said, before telling James Bond about his newest toy, a leaser beam which he intended to use for cutting 007 in half. “That interesting car” is, of course, the vehicle which was earlier introduced by Q: “You’ll be using this Aston Martin DB5, with modifications… ” Windscreen bulletproof, as on the side and the rear windows. Revolving number plates, valid all countries. A Homer transmitting device, with, reception on the dashboard. Smokescreen, oil slick, rear bulletproof screen and left and right front-wing machine guns – and of course the famous ejector seat. The beginning of a beautiful friendship between one of the most famous cars in the world with one of the world’s most famous movie characters. People from all around the world have been associating James Bond and Aston Martin ever since.

From Sean Connery to Daniel Craig, every James Bond has been driving an Aston, except for Roger Moore (who made up leeway in his role as James Bond wannabe in “Cannonball Run II”). Connery drove the aforementioned DB5, George Lazenby pursued his future wife Tracy in a DBS, Timothy Dalton had optional extras installed in his V8 Vantage Volante, and Pierce Brosnan had again a DB5 as his personal car and the “invisible” Vanquish. Present day Bond Daniel Craig drove a DBS V12 as company car, and won his DB5 in a poker game against Alex Dimitrios. Apparently, he handed that car over to Q branch to have some of the extras of the Goldfinger car installed.

Only a few months after the 50th anniversary of the Bond movies, the Aston Martin company doubles the numbers and celebrates its 100th anniversary on January 15th. The company has also planned a number of events, culminating in the Centenary week from July 15th to July 21st 2013. For further information, please read the press release below. Commanderbond.net wishes a Happy Anniversary to Aston Martin. Here’s to he next 100 years, of both Aston Martin and the James Bond movies.

Aston Martin Press release:

17 December 2012, Gaydon: 2013 sees Aston Martin celebrate its centenary with a year-long calendar of exceptional events.

The globally-renowned British luxury sports car maker will mark its first 100 years with a series of UK and international celebrations highlighting the unique success of the brand worldwide.
 Boasting the strongest product line-up in its 99 years to date, Aston Martin has recently introduced its new ultimate GT – the exceptional Vanquish – and timeless new DB9. The new cars have been unveiled to global media acclaim and, in the case of the Vanquish, numerous prestigious awards. 
Aston Martin has also played a key role in one of the year’s most hotly-anticipated films, with the iconic DB5 stealing the automotive limelight in the latest James Bond blockbuster, Skyfall.

Centenary launch 


15 January 2013 marks the official incorporation of the company 100 years ago and to commemorate the historic occasion the oldest surviving Aston Martin – A3 – and a stunning new Vanquish, the brand’s ultimate GT, will take their places at a photo call at Henniker Mews in Chelsea – the original home of Aston Martin – where a commemorative plaque will be unveiled. 
In the evening of 15 January the Aston Martin Heritage Trust Walter Hayes Memorial Lecture will take place in central London with A3 and Vanquish again guest starring alongside actor Sir John Standing as Lionel Martin, telling the story of his early days and his experience of making the first Aston Martin in Lionel Martin’s own words.

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