1. The Waiting Game

    By Luke Freeman on 2002-11-14

    The last few days before the theatrical release of a new James Bond film can be an excruciating time for dedicated fans, no matter how patient they normally are. What is actually only a week can seem like an eternity, as you walk around the house bored, constantly looking at the clock and counting down the minutes left until the new 007 flick storms the cinemas. Those hours just drag on and on as you eagerly anticipate watching those two white dots go across a large theatre screen. Every time the final days before a new film approaches, fanatics struggle to get though the wait. The tension, the butterflies in the stomach, it becomes too much for some people, hospital admissions go up by 34%. The question is, what can one do to make this painful wait easier to endure? It’s quite simple really; you just need to find distractions to occupy your mind and your time. Time flys when your having fun, so having fun will bring the new Bond film to you quicker. Here are a few activities you can do to pass the time leading up to the premier of Die Another Day.

    Lego Building – A bucket full of Lego blocks translates to limitless possibilities, the only restriction is your imagination. Many a happy hour can be spend building a great many things. Also, Bond related Lego construction is fast becoming a hobby in itself. It’s not only the Bond monuments, like Blofeld’s volcano or Fort Knox, but also the characters themselves. With some pens, glue and a Bunsen burner, you can shape those Lego townsfolk, policemen, race car drivers and so on, into genuine looking Bond characters. With your players and sets, you can act out your own scenes, perhaps changing the ending. Get a video camera and make your own Lego Bond film, send it into MGM and if their reputation is accurate, they’ll probably offer you a contract.

    Sort though your CD Collection – What better way could there possibly be to spend a lazy afternoon than to relive memories past by going though your CD collection?. Experience tells me that it’s best to separate your CDs into four piles, Those to keep, those to sell, those to use a drink coasters, and those you’d be embarrassed to be seen with. The question “What the hell was I thinking?” is sure to arise more the once as you dust off and check though piles of your once proud purchases. For extra credit, check which washed up artist you have the most “best of” albums of. For one singer who shall remain nameless, I managed to find a ‘best of’, a ‘greatest hits’, a ‘definitive hits’, a ‘greatest hits live’, an ‘anthology’ and a ‘complete collection’, all with pretty much the same songs on them ofcourse.

    Lemonade Stand – Aimed towards, but not exclusively too, younger fans who may be struggling to come up with enough money to purchase a ticket to the new movie. Normally I’d just suggest sneaking into your mothers purse and helping yourself, but you don’t want that inevitable sense of guilt to affect your enjoyment of the film do you? Plus a Lemonade Stand will kill alot more time. You have to frequently pick the lemons, squeeze them, collect the juice, make the lemonade, build the stand, make a sign advertising the lemonade, serve the customers, count the change, and clean up afterwards. Sounds like alot of work, on second thoughts, go for the purse.

    Practice “candy smuggling” – If you’re like me, then out of principle you’ll refuse to pay $4 for a Mars Bar at the cinema snack bar. I would have gone broke years ago had I not perfected the technique of smuggling candy bought elsewhere into the theater undetected. It’s getting harder and harder these days. The ushers and the ticker rippers seem to be cracking down on this more so in recent times, hell bent on catching offenders. That’s why you need plenty of practice before the big night. Try sneaking chocolate bars into work or school over the few days before the film, and no, don’t just stuff them into your pockets, be creative, be brave, take risks. As an old hand I can give you one helpful tip, secret compartments in your shoes, make of that what you will.

    A night out on the town – The best way to take your mind off the long wait is to get out of the house and enjoy yourself. For that I recommend a karaoke bar. Join drunk Japanese businessmen, broke young couples, and the homeless for a few verses of Shaft or The Piano Man. You’ll make life long friends a what’s more, you’ll have an excuse for singing outside of the shower. But be wary of anyone who actually fancies themselves as a serious performer, these people should be considered dangerous. If karaoke is not your scene, then he next best thing for thrills and excitement is to hail a taxi, hop inside and say to the driver “surprise me”.

    Bond Movie Marathon – No time-killing operation would be complete without a movie marathon, though it’s good tactics to save this activity for those difficult final hours when you’ll need it most. I would have gone insane on the afternoon before the release of The World is Not Enough had it not been for my You Only Live Twice and Tomorrow Never Dies videos. So gather some friends around the couch, stock up on snacks and soda, and get though that difficult morning and afternoon before by relaxing with a few videos. PS, watch any ones you like, but tradition states that the last film of your marathon has to be the most recent one. E.g. With your movie marathon before going to see Die Another Day, the previous film The World is Not Enough must be the last film of the marathon.

    I know it’s a long, and sometimes agonizing wait, these last days can feel like longer than the two or three years since the last Bond film. The emotions are even felt by long time Bond fans who have gone though it all many times before . But my advice is simple, just chill out, do a few of the activities I mentioned previously, or anything you enjoy. That way those final days and hours will fly by, and Bond will be back in action before you know it.

    PS. I hope everyone enjoys Die Another Day

    Until next time,