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  1. Touchy. Feely. Eely.

    By Jim on 2005-03-05

    Contains mild spoilers.

    Jacques StewartOh, what’s the point?

    I don’t appear to be the target audience so this review is subject to the obvious criticism that I might as well be reviewing the merits of kolkhoz subsistence or line dancing or rohypnol.

    There are two things to review/abuse here. One is the book qua book. The other is the concept of Young Bond, which for many, self included, strikes one as equally welcome as unsolicited emails promising one something at the Paris Hilton and similar in wisdom to any sort of spin-off and, further, in appearing to deny that the James Bond character has always been adult and that, accordingly, “James Bond” is literary synonym for adult fantasy (and that’s pretty much all it is), about as appealing a spin-off as “Schindler’s List II: Goebbels finds the Tipp-Ex” or “Dial J for Jurder” or “Star Wars Episode 0: The Foetus Yoda”.

    On that last forced analogy, worth forcing it further until it squeaks. Wildly popular concept is reinvigorated years down the line by those in charge of the rights going “back in time” and attempting to display the genesis of (cough) revered characters. However, this may be where the analogy ends (and should end, lest I bore you); there always appeared to be a demand for the Star Wars prequels (albeit one instigated by its creator) and it’s their execution that appears to have engendered a collective chin-stroking; anticipated idea, indifferently done. However, isn’t this the converse?: indifferent idea, done … well, that’d be telling, but was there ever a demand for Young Bond? Not apparently one instigated by his creator, nor by any following him to this point. The laws of supply and demand seem to be out of kilter here–the supply is coming where the demand has yet to be readily identified.

    At least within the concept of “James Bond” itself. For whilst it’s now a moot question, query whether this really would have happened without Harry Potter. It’s inescapable, granted, that teenage boys will go to school and, if Eton rather than one of these superannuated day-care centre hotbeds of pilfering some poor sods have to cope with (Harrow), spend most of their time there so, equally granted, if one is going to tell a tale about such a teenage boy, it will be based in part at Eton. Comes back to the question, though–why tell the tale about the teenage Bond? Nobody else wanted to. Nobody appeared to have demanded it (and hence the shock and awe around these parts and others when the concept was first hurled at us a while ago). Where has this demand come from for tales of chaste derring-do with elements of the fantastical based at (cough) antiquated schools? It’s not hard to recognise that description and I’m not sure it’s in James Bond, a corrupted adult killer and killer of adults, permanently on the stage of burn-out, keeping himself going through meaningless sex, a job he claims to despise (and thereby exposes himself as an unlovely hypocrite) and particularly superficial materialism (I appreciate the tautology). Where in his inventor’s frustration at not being able to eat what he wanted, smoke as much as he wanted, drive as fast as he wanted and knob as many pretty but wounded birds in weird SM fantasy…um…as he wanted, and thereby creating a turbocharged version of himself, is a teenage kid? Whilst it’s been said (and by the man himself) that there’s adolescence in James Bond, it’s the futile attempt of an ageing and disappointed man to live as an adolescent, not actual adolescence, that’s the key to it.

    As Ken Follet observed in The Independent on 3 March 2005 “I read Casino Royale when I was 12. It changed my life. Bond knew about all that intruiged me: cars, cocktails, guns and most of all girls”. Note the age. Note the things the reader was looking for. Can Young Bond satisfy the needs of the twelve-year old when James Bond already does? Can Young Bond satisfy the twelve-year old who would want to read something shocking and illicit and something just ever-so out of reach?

    Also, why tell the tale of the early-teenage Bond without showing the development into the adult Bond (or “James Bond”). It appears–on the basis of Chiggy’s interview here – that this series will end before the more adult fantasy elements take charge, so it doesn’t look like book four will be entitled “Two Balls of Tepid Spunk up a Slack Crimson Flue”, which given that the character seemed to be a byword for thrilling the suburban adult male when it first appeared, appears something of a lost opportunity.

    And, having read SilverFin, there’s now another reason for frustration at the existence of Young Bond, because it means firstly that Mr Higson isn’t writing the real thing and secondly that what is a jolly fun read (after a spluttering start) is actively spoiled by its association to “James Bond”. Replace the name “James Bond” with absolutely anything else (and given that the initial idea was that it was a “nothing” name, it should be capable of such necessary vandalism) and the book is a stormer. Perhaps we all have too much baggage to enjoy it properly. I know I do, and feel frustrated as a result. It’s an entertaining read about a lad at a school who gets himself into a bit of a scrape but the lead character could have gone by any other name and little would really have been lost, and probably more credibility gained. Should entertaining storytelling like this have to ride on the coat-tails of a concept that it doesn’t really fit? The result is damage done to a perfectly fine, fun tale, and another sort of damage done to a concept–the written James Bond–that really doesn’t need any more damaging at the moment.

    As it stands, the book is the equivalent of Chiggy winning at crocodile wrestling; I admire him for the result, but I remain to be persuaded that it’s a terribly sensible idea in the first place.

    Chiggy will say that the concept is not Potter. Generally, it does avoid Potter as much as it can, although the red headed pal and feisty female chum seem…reminiscent. Potter has the wizard thing, and (save for a few bits in Muggle world) a totally invented environment which of itself creates interest–the first book and large parts of the second book involve still getting used to the concept and effectively, the school itself is the story. Here, Eton is treated as the kicking-off point and although there’s a fair amount of true-to-life place-names and customs referred to, there seem to be some gaps (I can’t recall if it’s ever identified which house Bond belongs too, although this is probably deliberate to avoid the Gryffindor connections–although if this is as confidently “not Potter” as is asserted, why not identify the house?). Given that there are limited ways in which one may bend and shape a real-life place, it’s a good decision not to keep Bond in the environment for too long and get him away from it (even if that does rely here on a staggeringly unlikely coincidence) so something more capable of bending to Chiggy’s fecund imagination can be used. This rather suggests that in due course Eton may have to take a back seat, and accordingly, it won’t matter where Bond was at school–frankly I don’t care whether it was Eton or Fettes and if the remaining books take the same attitude, it won’t really matter because very little of real import will happen there.

    SilverFin bears a plot that is no more adult and no more childish than “James Bond saves the Cannes Film Festival” or one involving an invisible car, a talking parrot or a supercriminal gutting an Alpine sports club and hypnotising British dolly birds to love marzipan or whatever it was. Those that die, die nastily; MacSawney meets Hannibal (not the bit you’re thinking – it isn’t that graphic) and the finding of Meatpacker Moran’s body on (about) page 226 (and what it has been subjected to) is very, very (and gratifyingly) nasty (although this does rather put to bed the concept that this is a children’s book, and therefore the entire concept of Young Bond and therefore why wasn’t Chiggles engaged to write James Bond rantrantrant). The villain’s scheme in the development of eugenics is an “amusing” and genuinely creepy nod not to “Bond-lore” (ugh) but to what would come with Aryan “culture” (the physical description of George Hellebore is a less subtle reference), although the relationship between the villain and his brother reminded me of Serpent’s Tooth and a similar-ish scheme. And Frankenstein. See? We are capable of thinking outside “Bond”. Just.

    For those determined to cling to the wreckage, what of it is identifiable “Bond”? Calling a horse “Martini” seems a bit forced, the introduction of May the housekeeper, well…umm… although plusses are that the villain gets a suitably OTT description, this “young boy who gets himself into a scrape, call him John Brown or Jehosephat Beelzebub” goes through Hell, there’s bits about the Bentley and badinage over a meal between Jacob Brownowski (the Ascent of Bond? Oh, never mind) and the villain (although most unlikely coming from the mouth/mind of a thirteen year old kid, frankly). And, although chaste, there’s a bit of romping between Jesus Bellend and “Wilder Lawless”, which is a stupid name and just crammed in there for “Bond” referencing when she could just as easily have worked with the name Madge or Jenny or Turbo. There’s probably loads more but what was particularly enjoyable was that if there were, they were not shouting out loud about “Bond knowledge” (this means you, Mr Benson) and therefore not getting in the way of what is a fun thing. Let it not be recognisably “Bond”–it really should have nothing to do with “James Bond” anyway–and you’ll enjoy it more. Greatly.

    The one point at which it works, and cleverly, is in the preface; an unnamed boy, thinking of his recently deceased father, goes fishing at Loch Silverfin; there are teases to make the reader with redundant knowledge of “James Bond” believe it is Bond; the comeuppance for the character is ours, too. Neat. I have to say I fell into that trap. Nice to have a “Bond” book surprise one now and again.

    Weaknesses? There’s waaay too much in the (terrible) opening chapter, which really isn’t representative of the whole (and is the opening chapter that was leaked); the cribbing of the opening line of Casino Royale is naff (what next? “There are moments of great luxury in the life of a thirteen-year-old snotbag”?) and although it does suggest that Chigs can recognise potential when he steals it, it’s the only moment when he does the practically impossible and out-Bensons Benson, and in that same opening chapter a teacher “reminding Bond of King George” one of the few (and this one, clumsy) references to time and place. Indeed, there are few elements to date the book as being set in the 1930s–not wise to alienate the apparent target audience–but some of the dialogue seems most unlikely coming from modern Etonians, never mind those of seventy years ago. One also can’t help escaping the feeling that the villain did shoot his son in the initial draft; somehow that would have been a more immediately satisfying end to that father-son relationship.

    Ultimately, the major weakness is in the attempts to tie it into the “Bond universe”. Why bother? It’s better without it.

    If the aim is to introduce a new readership to James Bond, it’s a pointless exercise because this character is not James Bond and given that there are moments of ickiness equal to “James Bond”, why the target audience should start on this and not Casino Royale is a bit of a mystery. The enterprise comes across as a needless cash-in on two success–James Bond and Harry Potter–and that’s a bit of a shame because divest it of its proclaimed connection to the Fleming adult and it’s a mighty good read.

    In short, despite the hilarious (and slightly demeaning) juxtaposition of the blurb: “Ian Fleming first wrote about James Bond over fifty years ago. He was uniquely placed to chronicle Bond’s secret-service career–he was himself involved at a high level in intelligence-gathering operations in World War II” against “Charlie Higson is a well-know writer of screenplays and adult thriller novels, as well as a performer and co-creator of The Fast Show”, what SilverFin–against considerable odds–turns out to be is the best spin-off Bond we’ve had for some time, but it would be better and more welcome were it not one. In even shorter, “no, but yeah”.

    And if Chigs is a writer of adult thriller novels, hasn’t someone at IFP missed a trick here? Time to rethink that contract…

    Jacques Stewart read the UK Edition of SilverFin.

    Return to CBn Reviews Young Bond #1: SilverFin

  2. The Impossible Job: The Facts of Death

    By Jim on 2004-07-19

    The following article is the opinion of one individual and may not represent the views of the owner or other team members of CommanderBond.net.

    “ ‘Besides,’ she continued, ‘I was convinced you were screwing that woman and was a little pissed off at you. Well, I’m glad you’re OK. You’re like a tomcat, you have nine lives.’

    Bond grinned but didn’t address Niki’s concerns.

    The chief of police stepped in and said something in Greek to Niki.

    ‘I have a fax coming in, I’ll be right back,’ she told Bond as she left the room.

    Bond sighed heavily, then took a sip of coffee. He was feeling better. The lack of food or sleep for so long, and his ordeals on the boat and in the sea, had taken their toll. Niki’s comment about Hera had irritated him too. It was yet another example of why Bond usually hated to be paired with a partner, especially a female one.”

    “Secrets of the Dead”, The Facts of Death
    © Glidrose Productions

    The paradigm exposed. In illustrating the nature of The Facts of Death, indeed the entire Benson-Bond enterprise, Jacques Stewartthe few words above provide more comment than any review can aspire to.

    In these lines, consider the juxtaposition of film Bond to literary Bond, the smirking smoothness of the films in that first exchange, and then, forced into the text at the end, a reference to the bleak desolation of literary Bond’s ultimately futile and solitary existence. Does it work? As an overall concept, I still can’t decide. What doesn’t work here, with this specific illustrative passage is the clumsiness of the clash of the two concepts (the prose style aside). Why should literary Bond have “grinned” in the manner that he did, if the latter passage records his true feeling? But why should film Bond descend into the torpor at the end? It comes across as two different people reacting to one event.

    This is the core struggle in The Facts of Death; the concept of merging the natures of the film Bond and the literary Bond. If delivery of some sort of casserole of the film Bond and literary Bond was the demand, was this just overambitious? Oil and water?

    An example, the end of chapter 3. We have literary Bond reflecting on his “lonely, wretched life” in an extremely effective and engagingly written passage which – unfortunately – is only effective if one knows the literary Bond. The essential problem is this: where throughout the rest of the tale, Bond quipping away in Eonese with every other character, sci-fi supercars whizzing about and Istanbul about to get it in the neck (again) do we see the loneliness and wretchedness exemplified? The reason the end of chapter three stands out, even though in a positive way it does come across as writing and not merely recording events, is that it does exactly that: it stands out. Taken at a distance, if I were reading this book not having seen a James Bond film and not having read a James Bond book, I fear that I would lose track of that core concept: James Bond himself. Accordingly, is it only because I know the two ideas exist – a “fan” – that I can understand what is going on here? If I were to be just a fan of the films, what could such a passage speak to me? Or if solely the books, what of the rest of it? I’m reminded of first watching Goldfinger and then popping along to a local library to borrow Goldfinger and encountering angry confusion; these are separate concepts, and kept well apart.

    Until now, it would appear. Did Glidrose take a look at the Eon billions and decide they wanted some of that, please? Well, who wouldn’t?

    Given the divergent path the films took, and sensibly took unless the films were to be marketed only to middle-aged alcoholic chirrotic snobs, it’s difficult to reconcile these two ideas, film Bond and literary Bond, and throughout The Facts of Death, we have them side by side but, I fear, never really meeting. I just wonder whether, on the evidence of this book, the task is not only beyond Mr Benson but beyond anyone. (Here comes the comparison, sorry) Fleming didn’t have to do it, Amis certainly didn’t do it and Gardner appears to have disliked the films with a passion and, arguably, wasn’t much fonder of the books. My concern is that it is in Mr Benson’s encyclopaedic knowledge of the whole literary and cinematic Bond – the exhilarating Bedside Companion is testament to the enthralling devotion – that he took an unwise (detrimental?) opportunity to try to combine the two things. In other words, this series of books reflects and is another example of the adoring, all-encompassing flavour of the Bedside Companion, the enthusiasm at being comprehensive in both Bond media, this time in fictional form. Whether that’s the intention, it’s definitely the impression. Is there any momentum in the theory that a more confident, more established writer would have refused the task because of its inherent difficulty?

    Let me put something as a rhetorical proposition: Mr Gardner tends to give off signals that he wasn’t that taken with James Bond; Mr Benson the precise opposite. The question I want to float here: whereas Mr Gardner appears to have gone out of his way not to know things about James Bond, and there are downfalls in detachment which led to evident lack of interest and could be summed up as “Brokenclaw onwards”, did Mr Benson know too much, and is that the downfall of his work?

    Even if you don’t agree, humour me with that. There’s another influence of the Bedside Companion which is potentially less laudable; I’ll come to that.

    I recognise that in the last review / destruction masquerading as critical review that one key aspect of Zero Minus Ten I did not comment upon was Mr Benson’s handling of Bond himself. One might consider that to have been a curious omission. It was deliberate (he writes, hastily covering up for forgetting in a manner notable only for its abject shoddiness); Zero Minus Ten was largely a tick box exercise of a Bond book, in much the same way as GoldenEye was largely a tick box exercise of a Bond film; both executed finely as far as they went, and there’s a pervading sense of “this is what the audience expects of this”, rather than “here’s something very new” but with Mr Benson, as with Mr Brosnan/Ms Broccoli, yet to develop “their” Bonds. Note the plural.

    So just as Tomorrow Never Dies, whatever its faults, was an attempt to extend the concept (even if one disagrees with how it dealt with 007, it comes across as considerably more self-assured than GoldenEye, which is only (and irritatingly) self-aware, a key difference), what The Facts of Death will be taken to stand for is development, evolution, confidence and…

    Progress?

    Note: Inevitably, this will contain substantial spoilers.

    The Facts of Death

    The Plot

    Strengths: In using the tension between Greece and Turkey as the background, this appeals to the vogue that has pervaded Eon since (but not including) Moonraker, being that, apparently concerned (with some justification) that Bond is a shocking anachronism, they play the James Bond series as hyper-reality. Each film from For Your Eyes Only onwards has overtly used a contemporary situation (usually political) against which an exaggerated Bond adventure can be played out – plot driven, ignore essential flaw in using a psychopathic homophobic racist bigot as the lead character, let’s just play at fantasy with the real world, stretch it to allow our formula to fit. That’s what is happening here. The Facts of Death very much fits the Eon model of grand scale and wide threat, as for that matter did Zero Minus Ten. In the nature of the plot, then, this is very “film” and its great advantage over Zero Minus Ten is that it is maintained throughout without awkward digression into a self-conscious exercise in what a Bond book must contain (which comes across anyway only as an accident of whatever Fleming felt like writing about rather than design).

    Accordingly, to an extent freed from the perceived structures of a Bond book, the plot sings along merrily and sticks around rather than wandering off into distracting and unhelpful narrative that is in constant need of rescue (compare its immediate predecessor). It also happens to come across as classic Eon formula Bond, with whizzbang car chases, a villainous organisation killing their own for betraying it (the Decada being “SPECTRE goes Super Size on the maths”), super luxury yachts, suitably cringingly inane Boothroyd scene, absurd gadgetry, the capture and near torture of Bond (more PG13 than the General Wong incident in the preceding book), weirdo mad sect doing weirdo mad things, underwater stuff, comedy deaths, interesting – and again, extremely vividly realised – locations (although I have my reservations about Texas), the usual adolescent quippery when it comes to the sperm subplot and mad cackly villain spilling the beans. And the obligatory Istanbul. There’s a hell of a film in here; how far it departs from the Eon formula really is moot, but it would still be a hell of an archetypal James Bond film. It’s easier to be generous to the exercise as a film than as a book.

    As a small point, using the Markov assassination, perhaps the most Bond thing to have ever happened in “real” life, as the inspiration for a killing is, itself, inspired and extremely amusing.

    Weaknesses: Is it meant to be a book? The freedom from the perceived structure of a Bond book only serves to expose those moments where it has been designed as a Bond book, but this is more a stylistic comment than a plot one. In short, its strengths are when succumbing to being a film and not prose (and those moments are entertaining).

    Major weakness of the plot is the (ostensible) villain’s attitude to it; it’s a bit difficult quite what the Decada intends to achieve with its ten-point plan of destruction; a series of little incidents of violence and then…then what? The films, they often aren’t clear either – I mean, what is it that Carver is going to do with his fifty years of broadcast rights? – but they tend to paper over these sort of cracks by hurrying along to the next bout of blowing things up; on immediate reading, and then instant re-reading of the exposition in this book, it’s too easy to query, as is queried in chapter two – “What were these people after?”. Not too sure that question receives a terribly straight answer. Seems to be suggested that war between Greece and Turkey and accordant disruption in NATO will ensue but this is vague – as is why the latter is any sort of objective – and the villain’s attitude seems to be “Yeah, well, life eh? What a bummer. Tsk! Never mind.” Additionally, the background story about the germ warfare being waged against major cities seems to pass by unnoticed (probably because we’d spot too great a similarity to the scheme in the film of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service); whilst a toll of the dead is kept, it’s a bit too offhand to suggest any real panic going on. Maybe that’s just me, but that could have been far more explicit, especially as that plot device becomes particularly important towards the end.

    “In the end of the book there is a rather maudlin plea for peace, and I guess that’s the viewpoint I wanted—and needed—to take.”

    -Raymond Benson
    The CBn Interview

    Agreed. It is maudlin and seems unnecessary but it does cohere with the Eon view of international politics (always rogue elements of respective governments, James Bond savey Worldy and it never, ever rains) rather than the literary Bond despair at how futile everything turns out to be. But, given the depth of research that Mr Benson again patently undertook, it was probably sensible not to offend either host. One moment in the historical fact-dump does grate; there is a description in chapter 11 of Britain as an “objective party”, which is curious considering that Cyprus is largely Britain’s fault, and given the (considerably more accurate) note earlier in the tale that it does not recognise the Northern Cypriot Republic.

    I’ve suggested above that I have issues with “Texas”. Plot-wise rather than stylistically, the major problem is this: in the first briefing M reveals that SIS know that the frozen sperm is carrying toxins and that it is getting to Athens, so does Bond really need to go to Texas at all? There’s no genuine mystery that is solved whilst out there, and it just seems to be a bit of a digression for the hell of having Felix Leiter turn up for a bit. The connections between Hutchinson and Romanos could as easily have been made in Greece (and, indeed, are). Whilst the Texan interlude is a pleasant enough read, and gives Mr Benson the opportunity to write about what he knows (a good idea? See below), as a pure plot device, on reflection it looks extraneous. Not too sure what the raid on the Suppliers’ HQ adds either, except for some swearing and Felix Leiter doing wheelies in his wheelchair (hmm).

    The Style

    Strengths: Cohesion is its key; it is far less interrupted by what its author believes it should be (the major defect in Zero Minus Ten, the attempts to cram in “James Bond novel” elements, which are to its detriment because the absence of authorial style cannot disguise this).

    The prose doesn’t appear to have advanced very far beyond necessary to tell a story, and quite what one is to make of the editing when something like “…at the end of a winding mountainous road that leads to nowhere, is a quiet, forsaken village called Anavatos” appears – patently, the road does lead somewhere, then (one can see what is trying to be conveyed but it is a bit of a struggle and one has to be quite forgiving), but what The Facts of Death displays is that Mr Benson is trying out his own stuff, going where he wants his Bond story to go rather than where it is “right” that it should go, rather than ensuring all boxes are ticked. Therefore, regardless of whether it is successful, it is evolution and it is interesting to stand back and watch a writer try to develop. Particularly by referencing the writer’s own background in Texas, there is an attempt to infuse the narrative with what he knows about, rather than what he ought to know. Accordingly, whilst Zero Minus Ten is a James Bond story, The Facts of Death is far more successfully a Raymond Benson James Bond story, and as far as that goes, there’s a level of attachment which the Gardner books, with their annoying standoffishness, never really achieved. The personal element arrives and although I query Texas as a necessary plot move, that’s only on reflection; whilst it’s onscreen, it seems to chug along merrily. Again, whether for good or bad, far more of the writer emerges here. Anyone could have written Zero Minus Ten; only Raymond Benson could have written The Facts of Death. That must be regarded as progress; whether for good or evil depends on one’s perspective, but objectively the progression can be recognised.

    Accordingly, it’s presumably a reflection of this investment of the personal that makes this story work to the final point of the last page; Mr Benson clearly could care less what happens here (again, this level of interest in the product stands in definite contrast to Mr Gardner who, although substantially a better prose stylist given his experience, seemed to drift off… a bit… then came back… traitor… um how do I end this?)

    As minor points, whilst the narrative style remains resolutely unexceptional and unthreateningly functional, at its best, and there’s still way too much dialogue (Bond and M still trying to outdo each other with historical knowledge; last time around it was the Opium wars, now it’s Cyprus), there is some greater attempt to use narrative and it’s less nakedly “film dialogue” than Zero Minus Ten, even if it’s more nakedly “a film”. It is when the style is reportage of onscreen incident rather than (still) self-aware with “having to shoehorn a bit of literature in at this point” that the style whizzes along, the read with it.

    Weaknesses: Stefan Tempo. If it’s some time since you read The Facts of Death, I’m willing to wager that you don’t remember Stefan Tempo. That, of itself, reveals much. In brief, the plot is engineered so that Bond, to defeat a Decada attack, has to enter Northern Cyprus with some Greek commandos; on landing, all are surrounded by naturally suspicious Northern Cypriot soldiers. Forward steps Stefan Tempo from Istanbul and everything is rendered ooja-cum-spiff. Stefan Tempo is Kerim Bey’s son.

    The issue with Stefan Tempo is not, however, just as a plot device (however much this disrupts any sort of attempt one could make at fixing Bond’s age). It is this: Tempo is a Fleming character. So, rather than relying on any other characters he himself has invented, the writer engineers a situation where the only apparent way out is to fall back on Fleming (and as asserted in the initial piece about ZMT, how can this not avoid unsought-for comparison with Fleming?). Nods to the past, OK, fine, fair enough, have to accept that I suppose… but this is more than an incidental nod, beyond the echoes that littered Zero Minus Ten. This is the direct progression of the plot because of this character.

    There are two ways of looking at this. Either the writer found no way out of it but this, which – to be blunt – is cheating on an Agatha Christie scale (ie the character never to appear is the murderer/here, a rabbit pulled out of a hat); bit lazy, frankly, and a curious lack of confidence in his burgeoning ability to devise interesting plots – or this part of the plot was deliberately designed to build up to this moment and…and…and what? Establish Bond knowledge? Is there some insecurity on the part of the author that we don’t think he knows his stuff, and he needs to keep pressing his “Bond knowledge” credentials? How can he sensibly think that, after the Bedside Companion? This is the less laudatory influence of “too much knowledge” I mentioned earlier; who is he trying to convince with this? Convince whom, and about what? If he was uncertain why there might be negative reaction to his hiring as Bond author, did he mistake suspicion that he did not know what he was doing (an untried writer must experience that, surely?) for suspicion that he did not know what he was writing about? Who on earth could doubt the latter, but the perception created by Stefan Tempo is that he has shoved him in there as a misconceived (paranoid?) reaction to cure the non-existent mischief in the latter perception; trouble is, it just exacerbates the damage to him on the (very real) former.

    The exercise is a flawed one, because there’s absolutely no explanation how Stefan Tempo – the son of a British agent – gets to be high up within Turkish intelligence. None. At all. Surely that undermines the credibility of what is happening, for the sake of an in-reference which the audience will be left scratching their heads at? It wouldn’t happen in a film – they wouldn’t let it happen in a film. So what do we have? Bond in a fix; along comes a Fleming character because the writer knows that a Fleming character is available, and, somehow, gets him out of fix, plot moves on. And if, in considering whether you do remember Stefan Tempo appearing, you can’t, and wonder why I’m banging on about it, then that exposes it at the other end; the appearance isn’t sufficiently memorable to be of any importance whatsoever. Nothing is done with the character to make it a remotely valuable moment. Up he pops, back he goes. Query the insecurity in the writer’s own ability that, to the detriment of his tale, he felt compelled to do this.

    As for “knowing too much” being potentially detrimental– if he had forgotten that Stefan Tempo existed, or not known, could there have been a more plausible way out of it? Clearly – a message passed via SIS to Istanbul in some way, via M to her counterpart and A.N. Other agent turns up, whose history to that point can be deserving of as little detail as Tempo received. Was the Tempo temptation too great? It looks that way; although it solves a narrative problem, it creates distinct difficulties stylistically. A monkey off the back, but replaced by a gorilla?

    That’s not the only example. The stylistic problem with Texas: Bond reminds himself that he went to the Panhandle in the case involving “the last heir of Ernst Stavro Blofeld”. The reference gnaws, for differing reasons depending on one’s perspective. If one accepts that the book is a film, and one need no knowledge of the literary Bond to read it (indeed, my ultimate conclusion – have a preview – is that it’s better not to have such knowledge to get the most out of this), then it’s likely that one would know about Blofeld as the most famous film villain but…is there any actual point in this reference to a Gardner Bond if all one has seen is the film series? On the other hand, if one does know the literary Bond, there’s a flaw here in referring so overtly to For Special Services and then, in the passages with Leiter, not making any reference to Cedar Leiter. The Bedside Companion suggests that Mr Benson isn’t sold on Cedar Leiter – he’s not alone in that – but this looks like picking and choosing between what is used and what isn’t, and the attempt to create “Bond consistency” in making the reference is damaged by not following it through to its natural conclusion – which must be a reference to Leiter’s daughter, like it or not. Not having the reference to the Panhandle at all, and it is extraneous, would solve this.

    Perhaps , if setting a book in Texas, he felt he would be damned if he didn’t refer somehow to For Special Services; but given that this is best seen as a cinematic exercise, would anybody really care? It’s in trying to merge the two things that they actually start to fall apart…

    The other stylistic problem with the Texas bit is what the Tex-Mex meal represents.

    Bond was never literature, it was a disappointed man using a fantasy persona to sound off about stuff he did and didn’t like; there was (dread phrase) attitude (sorry about that). It is a character created out of reaction, and practically out of frustration at what the world could not give him. And he was writing both what he knew and what he wanted to know, what he wanted to be, creating aspirational fiction – in the women, the label fetishism, the food…- not only for his audience but (absolutely critical, this) for himself – Ian Fleming wasn’t James Bond; he strove to be James Bond too. Accordingly, there appears to be some misconception about what Fleming was doing; he wasn’t writing just what he knew; he was writing what he wished to be. That’s the key error here; this writer has interpreted Fleming as writing only what he did know and therefore – quite legitimately as far as that goes – taking that as the model; he, Mr Benson will write what he, Mr Benson, knows. But he stops at that. Has he misunderstood the nature of what Fleming was doing? Does he actually think that Fleming was living like Bond?

    And yet consider Fleming, raging against the dourness of the post-war Labour government welfare state (just read that chapter in Casino Royale when Bond and Vesper share the meal; the comparative luxury of that to what – Fleming included – the British audience were being subjected to at the time….) As fiction disguising domestic political commentary on the twenty years after the end of WW2, there’s little to compare to Bond. It is British post-war sensibility of the despair of a once-elite deprived of their lifestyle, it is written out of deprivation and disillusionment and decay.

    None of which, I daresay, were factors in the upbringing of Mr Benson. This is why the shoehorning in of Bond’s despair dotted sporadically around his books rings hollow and comes across as mechanical; to write it, one has to have been there, and it will permeate the whole approach to a story, not just be brought in at appropriate junctures to jolt the reader about a bit. This is why no-one else can be Ian Fleming. No-one else is sufficiently angry and annoyed at how it’s all turned out to be so… pointless.

    Accordingly, in the Tex-Mex, Mr Benson is doing the honest thing and writing about what he knows; but where’s the aspiration in this? Where’s the repressed craving for high living? This is comfortable middle-class American plentiful (and excessive) satisfaction rather than the demonstration to the reader of experiences just that extra inch out of their reach – and, through political frustration, the author’s reach – and rendering them into salivation not at the description of the meal itself, but at the prospect of actually having such a meal. Tex-Mex is too easy to acquire, there’s no need to strive for it; whilst it’s amusing to see blue collar Bond, it really isn’t Bond y’know. Whilst it brings Bond down and de-classes him, and puts him within our actual experience (and query how interesting that really is), in its non-challenging, non-aspirational way, all it exemplifies is the “turbo everyman” that Eon have turned Bond into, so that their films play in the suburbs and there is some (ugh) point of connection (good grief) between hero and spectator. It’s at a point behind where it should be headed to; what isn’t captured here is that even in its “reality”, Fleming’s Bond was staggeringly unreal. The Fleming Bond was a story of constantly chasing potential experience, predominantly things from the past, with the despair being the product of a realisation that it is futile. The food in Bond is, as a result, terribly important in reflecting this starting point of utter lack of pretence at reality; and Tex-Mex, because it is available, doesn’t achieve it, and puts the literary Bond at a point he has never been, and was never intended to go. In Zero Minus Ten, there was absurd food, teetering on the edge of beyond our grasp. At that point, I believed Mr Benson recognised what it stood for. Now, I’m not so sure. In short, the food displays no evident attitude, none of the significance it needs, and therefore comes across, however well intended, as a bit of a misfire.

    There are other stylistic curiosities, to comment upon briefly. As one may observe from the opening quote, there’s a fair amount of cussin’ kicking around, and the odd F-word appears here and there. Ah well; maybe that’s veracity given their context (American mouths). What else? Well, there’s the frankly Scooby-Doo all the gang’s here dinner party at Quarterdeck and the baffling relationship between the Messervy M and Bond. My impression from the Flemings was that Bond and M tolerated each other on a professional level. The few occasions upon which M refers to Bond as “James” are those where M is attempting to encourage Bond to perform an act of unsanctioned murder or subterfuge, not some sort of social nicety. In short, I can’t see where and how M became Yoda or – worse – Bond’s dad and no convincing exposition is attempted. Given that the Fleming M notably despised Bond’s social activities and the effort Mr Benson exerts to try to convince us that his Bond is the literary Bond, honest, how M and Bond are therefore in the same social circle is unconvincing.

    Nor is any genuine explanation attempted of how M became an actual father. On an artistic basis, I don’t think that works but I guess there’s nothing to contradict it in Fleming. But would Messervy, given who he is, really call his daughter Haley? Might as well call her Shazza or Chardonnay or something of equivalent gruesomeness.

    Although the Quarterdeck party does appear to suggest a solution to the world’s most underwhelming mystery about whether Admirals Messervy and Hargreaves are different people by… no, that’d spoil things.
    The thing that rings truest; the new, female M is as much of a cretin and a security risk here as she is portrayed in the current films. So far as that is a direct fusion of film and literary Bond, it’s absolutely bang on.

    As far as the major action sequence is concerned, it’s a film car chase; Bond himself is never in peril and it comes across as a run through the gadgets his Jaguar is deemed to possess (including, in no less absurd a manoeuvre than “invisibility”, holographic projection). In that vein, it has the same structure as the chases in Goldfinger, The Living Daylights and Tomorrow Never Dies, the fun action sequence involving the souped up automobile, show the audience the technology, Bond protected by “pressing some buttons”. How this entire comic incident reconciles with the description at the end of chapter three defeats me. That’s the only reason I put it under “weakness”; as an incident in a film, it would be a monumentally enjoyable strength, and conforms to the film concept that when in peril, no fists, just press things and set off a few bangs and then knob a bird. There is something to get Bond out of what he needs to get out of. Taking a back seat, and with the end of the chapter in which this car chase appears, that is a literal back seat, to the technology. A car that drives itself. A car that heals its own bullet wounds. A car with paint that changes colour.

    What’s absent from the sequence, indeed the book as a whole, and something that was present in Zero Minus Ten with the General Wong and Australia episodes, is a sense of Bond himself suffering. OK, Hera does threaten him with surgical knives aboard the yacht – villainous redhead threatens Bond with scalpels aboard boat; that’s You Only Live Twice, isn’t it? – but, as with the films, there’s only very rarely a palpable sense of (physical or psychological) threat. The fight in the pitch black with the thug is funny, the opening and the ending helicopter bits are exciting too – but, unlike walkabout in ZMT, there’s little to wonder at how he gets his way out of such scrapes.

    The Villains

    Strengths: A far more vivid set of characters than the anaemic Guy Thackeray; Konstantine Romanos is fundamentally potty and (especially) Hera Volopoulos gratifyingly unpleasant, as is the manner of her death. There’s an inkling of Fleming in making vegetarians subject to suspicion, although this is treated as an offshoot of the villainy (and leads to tragic “eating meat” innuendo) rather than, as one would tend to suspect with Fleming, the cause of it, the silly old banana trying to be provocative again.

    Weaknesses: A curious volte face from the previous book; whereas Thackeray was a weak character, his scheme (if not the motivation) was clear. Here, interesting villains do…some stuff which might bring about some other stuff. And there’s something else going on in the background and they might be involved in that too. There is, though, a common weakness in both principal Benson villains to date: as with Thackeray’s alcoholism, Romanos getting a bit of a bang on the head and believing himself to be reincarnated Pythagoras is a short-cut to presenting reasoned explanations for what it is he does. There’s a cursory reference to the Greeks “following [Romanos] to victory” but it’s all a bit offhand. Still, it is interesting to see the leader of the crazies getting usurped at the end. Shame the man has to drink gin and tonic though; what is he? Some kind of pretentious lunatic…oh. A wasted opportunity by not exploring further how this ostensibly respectable senior academic is poisoning the minds of his students (but it’s the same wasted opportunity with unexplored issues about the influence of the similarly “public” Elliot Carver); still, a notable improvement in character, if not purpose.

    The Girl

    I forget where I read it, and apologies if this is a half-hearted attribution, but I think it was a comment passed by someone who knew Ian and Ann Fleming, and that circle they mixed with; that in his fantasy world, Fleming wanted to dominate women in a manner he found himself frustratingly incapable of doing in reality, given the personalities involved. Bear that in mind and by jiminy, you can see it. He was writing inherently pliable women he could imagine exploiting.

    There is some weakness in Fleming’s women that Bond constantly seeks, and finds; it’s the broken wing appealing to the predator, not to the Samaritan (which is where the fetid The World Is Not Enough goes so very wrong in its set-up of the Bond/Elektra relationship by having him trace the tear down the screen; he doesn’t want to sympathise, you clowns, he wants to manipulate to his own ends). OK, so the very first Bond girl may have been an agent, but she is a fundamentally useless agent, and Fleming revels in bringing the woman down; Gala Brand is more professional but frigid and a wet fish; others have imperfections in their bodies (Honeychile, Domino), are lesbian (Pussy, Tilly), aren’t too right in the head (Tiffany, Tracy – although this probably counts for Pussy and Tilly too) or are – in practical terms – spineless simpletons (Solitaire, Kissy, Liz Krest). None of these are the current Eon way – it’s always super agents and “real women who can hold their own, she’s like a female Bond (yawn).”

    In Zero Minus Ten, Sunni Pei was chugging along nicely until it was revealed that she has kung-fu superpowers (hmm); here, Niki Mirakos appears to have no flaws and is doubtless a scion of modern Greek womanhood. Problem is, like many recent Eon girls, she is terribly boring precisely because of the reverence the creator has for her; lacking (I assume) Fleming’s personal overt contempt for women, and desire to see them sexually dominated, Mr Benson isn’t creating a literary Bond girl here because it would appear he has no fear of the sex, which is what drove Fleming to do what he did with them and create the characteristics he drew out. Accordingly, there’s nothing to play with and little to engage with other than that she is tall, has brown hair and can fly a helicopter (and does this on numerous occasions). She, like Sunni Pei, is lacking that key characteristic of – itself – being somehow lacking, somehow there to corrupt and exploit. I suppose one cannot alienate half of the cinema audience, though.

    Hera is substantially more fascinating, and is by far Benson’s most interesting character to this point (including Bond who, even pre-Doubleshot, appears to have a split personality); a classic violent redhead in the Fiona Volpe / Helga Brandt mode – indeed, a direct copy of Helga Brandt in one extended sequence – and there’s a huge amount going on there; psychopathic bisexual treacherous vegetarian, none of these are particularly appealing. The only real weakness is in the dismal cheating that goes on by having the Number Killer referred to as “he” until revealed as Hera; oh come on, that’s just, well, a bit rubbish. But still, if you walk away with one thing from this film, it will be Hera Volopoulos.

    Film or book?

    Just go back to that top quote; the damaging Stefan Tempo issue aside, it does draw out the key stylistic issue about The Facts of Death (besides being an example of the liberated language): the compression of literary Bond and film Bond. This tries to be the bond between the two, ho de ho ho, but I can’t see it working. But, critically, that really is no fault of Mr Benson; there is genuine effort to try to make it work but ultimately, where it is strong, it is when it is film Bond and where it is weak – the literary Bond bits. I remain of the view that this is best considered a novelisation; damn good one, too.

    Worth reading?: Certainly, but it would be worth seeing more. At its strongest when not struggling with its schizophrenia and finally giving in to its nature as the transcription of a very strong Eon film. It rattles along for the most part without the self-consciousness of Zero Minus Ten and it is precisely when it isn’t trying to be “a James Bond novel” that it’s at its most successful. There are serious problems which undermine it as a literary exercise, or as a continuation of the literary series, more in what isn’t done than what is. There are some splendid “visuals” throughout – the car that changes colour (amongst other things) would be a fun film highlight – but it’s hard to find much that comfortably sits as a novel. More overwhelmingly whole, and more overwhelmingly Benson than the previous go, and never less than interesting although that’s frequently more so because of what it tries to do than what it succeeds in. Still, well worth a summer read.

    Stay tuned… Next up in this series: High Time To Kill.

  3. The Impossible Job: Zero Minus Ten

    By Jim on 2004-06-30

    The following article is the opinion of one individual and may not represent the views of the owner or other team members of CommanderBond.net.

    “If those Bond curmudgeons didn’t read the books for the sole purpose of picking them apart, they might see there’s some pretty good stuff in them. Look, I’m not Ian Fleming and never will be.”

    -Raymond Benson
    The CBn Interview

    Hands up, I admit it; I’m a Bond curmudgeon (whatever one of those is). Curmudgeonly in many things. But, credit where it’s due, Jacques Stewartand more credit than I’ve previously felt necessary to give him, Raymond Benson recently gave an exceedingly tolerant interview to CBn and this set me wondering whether, in a determination to believe that there is no other Bond writer but Fleming, I’ve misunderstood the motives, both Mr Benson’s and those commissioning his work, behind producing six Bond books between 1997 and 2002.

    In preparation of something else, I’m tearing my way through the Bensons and have wondered: perhaps I just misjudged the lad; perhaps he wasn’t quite that bad. I suppose the ultimate conclusion is that I’ve seen worse.

    Given the apparent intent behind this series of continuation books, about which Raymond Benson is remarkably and most entertainingly candid, I pose one question: are these literary Bond, or are they novelisations of as yet unseen Bond movies? Given the interview, it appears to have been a deliberate move to stay in sync with the films; effectively try to piggyback on their success, rather than on the success of Bond as a literary hero.

    I’m still not too sure of the answer, but let that be the driving force behind what is to come, the issue to return to. I guess that raising the question means that I’m still not sold on the idea that they present any sort of extension to what Ian Fleming was doing; rather, they are an “unofficial” adjunct to the Eon series. If one starts from that position, the books may be more credible. But even then, not without their problems.

    Please consider this: I came to Bond via the books, not the films. The films are (very much) secondary; they’re generic action pictures with some high spots. They’re not directed with any particular flair, and the dialogue generally comes across as serviceable. Many are terribly lazy, relying on audience expectation of formula to get away with a number of lame ideas. This, I appreciate, is a minority access point. The Bond market is one where the vast majority are attracted by these incredibly successful films. A trite point, maybe, but I would ask for tolerance in my reaction to Mr. Benson’s style. I came to expect the literary Bond to mean certain things. I have come to expect the Bond film style to mean certain different things. Overall, he may have been more successful in replicating the one that the other.

    I’m only going to refer to the original stories; the novelisations answer their own question and the short pieces don’t really help address the core issue. And if I start banging on about “Fleming did/did not do XYZ” feel free to hurl things. Or just hurl. But, again, I’d ask for a pause for thought. Perhaps it is time to grow up, move away from “He’s not Ian Fleming so he can’t do this” to “This is Raymond Benson, and this is what he can do…” As far as literary Bond is concerned, just as with the heirs of Connery, trying to be the original is the impossible job, the improbable job even. Perhaps it’s time to judge it on its own merits, such as they appear to be.

    But even in that, a question. Was Mr Benson, in drawing so much on Fleming’s characters, which appears to be a decision he took rather than one imposed on him, inviting the comparison anyway? If not intentionally, in writing about characters and incidents originally devised by Fleming, and described by Fleming, in seeking continuity of “Bondworld”, was the principal achievement by such action merely feeding ammunition to those who would deride him? If he had not actively sought comparison to Fleming, and I believe him when he states he did not, tactically it may still have been better to leave Fleming’s material alone. It is difficult to (say) read the Draco of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and then the Draco of Never Dream of Dying and not compare. Accordingly, it’s a fundamental problem with the Benson approach that he would not have us consider him as Mr Fleming, which is a fair request, and yet insist on overloading with Fleming characters and references and incidents; these two positions don’t appear justifiable. In so relying on Fleming, comparison was inevitable. Difficult to escape it. Strategically, it may have been better to create more and rely less; the opportunity for unfavourable echoes of the past may have been significantly reduced.

    If the apparent intent of the publisher was to shadow the films (female M, the obligatory Boothroyd and the promotion of Moneypenny to a substantial character; the cars), would it have been wiser (and easier to escape the looming shadow of Fleming) for Mr. Benson not to have decided personally to use so much Fleming and to have stuck to film characterization, abandoning references to the past? In his desire to create continuity both to Fleming (which does not appear to have been the desire of the publisher, if the interview is accurate) and to the films, did the books merely fall between the two media and satisfy neither? Were they written by someone who knew too much? Would it just have been better to go one way or the other and not both? Were they, ultimately, overambitious?

    I’m just throwing out questions, but it strikes me that the more successful of the Benson books are those that best balance these two different concepts; where they go too far either way, there’s a collapse. Either the style becomes exceedingly detached reportage, as if describing scenes played out on a screen, at which point as a literary exercise the book is terribly weak, or the plot starts to turn on incidents buried in Fleming, at which point there’s a bit of a sense of showing off to a few mates. Damned difficult to balance the two; by and large I believe him to have succeeded when the books are viewed as a whole (save one) but I return to the initial question; is that combination really the continuation of the Fleming series…?

    Without wishing to appear too pretentious, but for the sake of comparison within themselves, I’ll advance piffle some suggestions on plot, style (references to He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named are unavoidable because there are invitations to compare), the villain, the girl and try to answer the question – film or book?

    Note: Inevitably, this will contain substantial spoilers.

    Zero Minus Ten

    The Plot

    Strengths: There’s genuine entertainment here. More than the recent films, the plot seems fairly consistent and it’s fun to see Bond working for some “bad” guys. There’s a patent sense of urgency to the conclusion, and genuine panic for Bond when he is abandoned in Australia shortly before the denouement; the only man in the world with the knowledge to stop things and he can’t. Obviously he’s going to get out of it, but whilst the “walkabout” is ongoing one does actually care how, and that he does. Structurally, placing that period in the wilderness at a point when the clock is already ticking definitely works. Query whether it makes the ending a bit rushed, but this detachment from the countdown is a definite highlight.

    The background to the plot obviously dates the story but I don’t see a particular problem in knowing that in 1997 James Bond saved Hong Kong from a nuclear explosion; indeed, to watch recordings of the handover ceremony and imagine the desperate fight in Victoria Harbour going on at the same time – fun. On basic plot alone, this is well worth a read.

    Weaknesses: There seems to be a hell of a lot of padding. The mahjong game takes forever and seems directionless (see below) as does the Triad initiation ceremony (which doesn’t really appear to add anything, and interrupts the flow of the action for a fair old while). Perhaps these are more style issues, but there’s a detachment from the thrust of the narrative that makes them stand out. Story wise, although it’s novel to have Thackeray die twice, once Li Xu Nan becomes, albeit with reluctance on both sides, Bond’s “ally”, it’s evident what the twist will be. All the other characters have been exhausted or killed off or have only had a tenth of the attention paid to Thackeray paid to them, and there’s nobody left to be the villain.

    The style

    Strengths: So terribly, terribly good at “place”; the descriptions of Hong Kong and Kowloon and China (especially) and Macau are vibrant and display a genuine enthusiasm to present detailed research. The Triad ceremony, although I have reservations about its structure and ultimate necessity, is a key example of this effort. Other issues – the Boothroyd scene, the largely “family” atmosphere of SIS, although there is some sparkiness to the new M – seem to be style points imposed on Mr Benson and in so far as these are intended to reflect similar scenes in the Eon films, he can count them as a stylistic achievement. I can’t stand the Q branch scenes in the films, but that’s a pet peeve; what Mr. Benson does here tremendously well – throughout all his books – is capture the spirit of those exchanges, worthwhile or not.

    Indeed, it’s in reflecting the Eon style rather than the Fleming style that the book is at its best. Consider Bond’s entrance to “Shamelady”; irritation at the coy fan-boyishness of the name aside, he arrives home, not via the literary Bond route of driving up to the gates in a souped up American car and sitting in the dark to contemplate his sorry lot, but by performing a HALO jump into the bay. That’s how James Bond comes home. That is fab – can’t you just hear the Bond theme going full pelt at that moment? Such a monumentally outrageous entrance by film-Bond that it out film-Bonds film-Bond (and as the opening, is a very clear indication of the nature of the book… so literary Bond or film? Film). Great fun.

    Weaknesses The first major weakness is that a lot of it appears terribly mechanical, as if there were certain ingredients to get in there regardless of how well they are folded into the enterprise. The mahjong game is a key example here; Bond plays the villain at something, the villain cheats. Likewise the Triad ceremony; some lengthy of sinister foreigners doing sinister things (and whilst it’s hugely entertaining that ultimately it’s an Englishman doing the most sinister stuff, which goes beyond way Fleming’s limitations!) these two incidents just appear to be shoved in there.

    Now, obviously, Fleming was not averse to a bit of travelogue, but consider where it is most successful, and why. Much of You Only Live Twice is, indeed, descriptions of showing Whitey back in Twickenham how funny and suspicious in their blood-guzzling and chanting ways the foreigners can be, but once the plot is under way, once Bond has seen the Shatterhands’ photos, we then proceed with plot, uninterrupted by any such further digressions. Where it’s unsuccessful is in Diamonds are Forever, where it’s plot, then lengthy description, then more plot, bit more description and the thing comes across as disjointed. And that’s the problem here; the story of Zero Minus Ten is getting underway, and then it’s interrupted by the long mahjong game, and then it gets going again, and then it’s interrupted by a long Triad ceremony. And then it gets going again. Accordingly, two problems; the story wanders off for a while and it becomes rather hard to get back into it, and what comes across is a bit of a struggle to get it motoring again; also, the passages look like filler, not of the same consistency as their surroundings and robotically included.

    As a result, whilst these things are of some interest, the interest in the story they have rather artlessly interrupted is lost and, my view, they cause more damage than benefit.

    I have another issue with the mahjong game; I have to admit I got lost in it. I don’t doubt that its reportage is in total veracity, and accurate to the nth degree, but I wasn’t too sure, in a game spread over two chapters or so, that I was enjoying what I was reading. Perhaps that extra step, of considering what could be lost from the (presumably) accurate record of a game, rather than thinking one needed everything. A bit of a shave here might have upped the tension, made the incident far more economical, snappier and not so much of an intrusion. Yes, the card game in Casino Royale is reported in great detail, but the card game in Casino Royale is the plot; for proper comparison, read again the bridge game against Drax, or the Goldfinger golf – we don’t get every moment, as we appear to with the mahjong. As I’ve suggested, I don’t doubt for a moment Mr Benson’s knowledge; but here, as a tutor of mine once said, knowledge is not power; the use of knowledge is power and I’m not convinced how well it’s been used.

    The other issue about the game is that as an event, and given its prominence in the book, it seems inconsequential. Its ending adheres to the Chandler maxim of “if in doubt, have men enter the room carrying guns”, albeit here they’re carrying kitchen knives, but as an event it’s only touched on very briefly later on; this rather suggests that this sudden massacre was a convenient way to get the plot restarted after the lull the mahjong game causes.

    Curiously, the game is never mentioned again, given that it is evidently set up as an example of the villain cheating, and occupies a significant portion of the book. There’s another issue; we don’t get an insight into why the villain cheats. Bond appears to wonder at one point whether he cheats to establish that he can, like Sir Hugo Drax; but we’re given no reason beyond that, which is remiss and makes the villain and his motives hard to grab a hold of.

    With a reference to a Fleming character and a common incident from Fleming’s work, it’s accordingly not that easy to see this on its own merits. What is it trying to be? It can’t be Fleming – its creator admits it. It looks too much like a “tick-box” exercise. Whilst it’s an obvious cross-reference to have Bond gambling against the villain and cheat the cheater, there doesn’t appear to be much comeuppance for the villain as a result; nor is there that point at which the villain knows he has been cheated and is powerless to stop it (key things about the Drax and Goldfinger games). So, whilst I appreciate that the game was “essential”, and it’s utterly authentic, I’m not too sure it’s shoehorned in that well and the nature of the prose isn’t enough to let the writer get away with it.

    Second major weakness — it’s a film: OK, that’s a bit sudden, and in so far as that appears to be the market aimed for by Glidrose here, it succeeds, but page after page of expositionary dialogue is terribly wearing. I just find it unlikely that Bond and M, however much they are sizing each other up, would have a lengthy chat about the Opium Wars, or that a Triad leader would reveal so much about himself and his motivations, almost instantly, to a man he wants to kill. Fundamentally, there’s too much chat and no background. I find the conversations really unlikely but on the basis that one cannot put prose descriptions onscreen, I guess they were inevitable. The opportunity to show the research skills could have come via another method; it just seems like a lost (or abandoned) opportunity to ditch the dialogue and explore the extra dimensions a novel could give. The other irritating thing is that everyone knows key information at all important points (and not before). Accordingly, a lot of the dialogue is terribly stilted in the rush to impart vital info. Put bluntly, there’s nothing Bond doesn’t know here; the writer doesn’t deliver any information outside of Bond’s knowledge (which is very close to the know-all Bond of the films).

    Another way of approaching it? Why not have the first chapter, or couple of chapters, set during the Opium Wars? Would have made for a highly unusual start for a Bond book, expanding its ambition into the epic and, in my eyes, would have started Mr Benson off with real style, something utterly unique and without comparison, to stand or fall on its own merits. Also, such a move would have been to extend the responsibility for delivering narrative beyond the relatively few characters that appear, and could have meant more convincing dialogue. Just a suggestion.

    As minor points, I’m not too sure that the scene in Portsmouth couldn’t have been dealt with by reference, rather than having a “real-time” action sequence; although it was probably necessary to have a “real-time” action sequence at that stage of the book, because otherwise there’s a load of chat going on and the cinema audience will be getting restless unless there’s a gunfight of some description.

    Interesting to note references to Gardner’s women at one point. Interesting and… flawed, because then one has to wonder what this book is. If it’s there to appeal to the Bond market, weaned on the genuinely (and deliberately) shallow films, then by God, it succeeds. But these references to Gardner’s women… Who’s read those books? Where’s the public appeal? Is it film Bond or is it literary Bond? Corking along as film-Bond, requisite punch-ups and choppings and blowing things up and then one hits that and, apologies for making the same point, it doesn’t stack up as an exercise in literary Bond. Very curious artistic decision.

    So, yeah, Mr. Benson is not Mr. Fleming; hardly a revolutionary view. Yet there’s some evidence of trying, if not to ape directly the Fleming style (which year on year is ever more evidently the product of its time), then to cover similar ground – the absurd food, the gruesome sadism (the beating meted out by General Wong is especially visceral, and Bond’s reaction to it by far the most satisfying literary Bond moment of the enterprise) and the sexual content. On that last point, it’s interesting to read that Mr Benson thinks the literary Bond should be racy; I agree, but my view is that it’s not no-holds barred “filling” (a lovely image), but the raciness of a repressed Englishman living out fantasies in the 1950s and finding ways around it by experimenting with the perverse; there are other ways of being hardcore than being… hardcore. Accordingly, Sunni Pei’s private dance works as literary Bond; not too sure the repeated shagging does; seems a bit unoriginal. It goes beyond Fleming and Gardner in its graphic nature, but I always took literary Bond to be more sensuous and erotic than purely graphic. But then, I’m comparing again, so if judged on its own merits I guess it’s OK, and perhaps one can take the increased sexual detail as an advance by Mr Benson.

    The villain.

    “I always pictured Jeremy Irons as Guy Thackeray, by the way.”

    -Raymond Benson
    The CBn Interview

    Strengths: Whilst it’s an interesting first to have an English villain for a book (or at least one of English blood), and a fun parallel to have “the English” both create and then destroy Hong Kong through acts of violence, I’m not convinced that Thackeray is that strong a villain. It’s an interesting idea to make Bond’s nemesis a faceless corporate suit, but it should have remained an idea, really; there’s no colour here. A Jack Spang, basically. I guess the one strength is that the villain’s ultimate plot is plausible, and could be easily played in a film without having to resort to too much pantomime cliché of the Dr Evil type – avoidance of cackling nutters being a current Eon trend – but I’m not a fan of the character. What he’s up to is more interesting and far more arresting than who he is; this reinforces the book as a novelisation of a plot-driven film – who cares about the characters as long as things are happening – rather than a character driven literary Bond entry.

    Conversely, the three albino brothers is a really arresting touch – can really “see” them (film-Bond?) – and it’s a bit of a shame that they don’t have more to do. Lui Xu Nan is far more interesting, and the attention paid to him suggests the Bond/villain relationships of yore and so it’s effective sleight of hand at first instance to concentrate on him and let the reader forget about Thackeray for a bit. All the more disappointing that the most complex “new” character is sidelined towards the end in favour of a practically absent and uninteresting villain.

    Weaknesses: My major issue with Thackeray is that he’s out of focus; whilst his plot is relatively clear, the ultimate motivation is weakly explained. Making him an alcoholic, whilst this is a convenient shortcut to depriving him of needing a reason by suggesting his reason is overborne, isn’t that special a “tic”, and it’s a bit unclear why, if he is so soused, nobody has uncovered the cheating at mahjong already. The weakness also appears conveniently forgotten when he is pontificating or running and jumping. Odd. Again, this determination to give the villain a foible appears mechanically bolted on without being terribly well fused in.

    The physical description seems scant. Yep, I can see Jeremy Irons doing it but I can also see Alan Rickman or Bill Nighy or any sort of rangy Brit doing it. Thackeray just doesn’t seem altogether there. Perhaps this is subtle personification of the alcoholism, I don’t know. Not a favourite. True, lunatics living in volcanoes is going a bit far for literary Bond (if that’s what’s intended) but then villains such as Le Chiffre were just this human side of utterly grotesque. If what is intended is something akin to film-Bond, anyone coming to this after subjecting themselves to Max Zorin (say) or even Eliot Carver (the two Eon “corporate” villains) is going to wonder where the villain is. Whilst I’m tempted to state he is the weakest drawn literary Bond villain, I must remember not to compare and accordingly, he is Benson’s strongest “so far”; but things can only improve.

    On the film-novel analysis, it’s interesting from the Benson interview that he is thinking about his characters as being portrayed on screen; subconsciously at least persuaded in his purpose by the visual Bond rather than the written one.

    And as for the horribly self-conscious comments Thackeray makes about whether he should just shoot Bond instead of being in an action movie and using elaborate methods of execution, they’d work in smart-alec film dialogue, just about (given that Eon’s current theme is to hate the James Bond character and urinate over its legacy). But, whilst it has a parallel with the “Cowboys and Indians” routine delivered by Le Chiffre, it comes across as too knowing, too self-aware, for a book.

    The Girl

    Strengths: The scene in the Zipper club and the subsequent private dance Sunni Pei performs are fun, and early on in the relationship, she appears to be in genuine peril and worth rescuing. The scene with the mother at her apartment is a departure, certainly for the film women; some attachment, some family. Interesting. Albeit mum’s quite quickly forgotten about (one must keep the plot moving), it adds.

    Weaknesses: Save for being an interesting plot device to put her in peril, Sunni Pei’s attachment to the Triads and status within their organization seems to be underdeveloped; there never seems to be any doubt in Bond’s mind that he will trust this girl, despite her connections to a violent criminal organization.

    Bit of a shame that she becomes a bit of a loose end once the action moves to Australia; just another Bond girl. Also, it’s irritating that we find out at exactly the same time as Bond (this constant desire by the author that we know no more than Bond, and no earlier) that she is trained in martial arts etc., although that’s more to do with the approach taken to dialogue-heavy exposition rather than a flaw in the character itself.

    On the whole, more memorable than the villain and conforms to the “broken wing” theory, given that she is ultimately a prostitute. Interesting, if not terribly crucial to the plot towards the end. Character runs out of significance, becomes the standard damsel, which is a bit of a shame because early on she is something novel.

    Film or book?

    Film: The heavy dialogue is a key issue here. Would be a fun film, too. If done relatively straight it would solve Eon’s current problem in being unable to make the final half hours at all interesting, because the ending is pretty exciting. Beef up the villain, cut loads of the exposition, query the family friendliness PG-13ness of General Wong (despite it being substantially the best bit) and go for it.

    They won’t make it because of the date issue (although one could see it as Die Another Day, with Thackeray replaced by a North Korean loony and the Hong Kong handover replaced by NK and SK peace talks, or something), but they could have made it. Odd spots of showing off “Bond knowledge” aside, which do jump out at one, this wouldn’t alienate the casual reader too much, but it’s probably the casual reader who has seen a few Bond films. Nothing wrong with that; there are loads out there. As an extension of the Eon series, it pretty much works and is a decent place to start with written (albeit not literary) Bond if the only experience to that point is the Eon series.

    Worth Reading? — Yeah, on balance; interesting plot, some fun ideas, but some parts look too mechanical in trying to be literary Bond; works better as a film. As a book, (not insignificant) prose issue aside, with its distractingly redundant bits, it’s a bit like Diamonds are Forever; some really interesting ideas, but too much detail of too little consequence and a villain conspicuous by his absence. Abandon hope all ye who expect literary Bond, but as a curious hybrid nearer to the films than the books, worth a shot.

    Stay tuned… Next up in this series: The Facts of Death.

  4. "You want to put Bond in a gorilla suit?"

    By Jim on 2004-06-28

    “Possibly I’m an egomaniac…”

    George MacDonald Fraser

    First published in 2002, The Light’s on at Signpost, the memoir of George MacDonald Fraser, could not in all conscience be labelled dull; “challenging” is perhaps its most realistic description. For amongst entertaining anecdotage extending into and beyond his involvement with Octopussy, Mr Fraser has indulged himself in delivering of his views upon modern British society, in particular the Blair administrations and prevailing social attitudes.

    One wonders of a man who describes himself as “a liberal myself” but proceeds to deliver of the following:

    “Who would have believed, fifty years ago, that by the end of the century, it would have been deemed permissible, by the BBC of all people, to call the Queen “a bitch”, or that the foulest language and vilest pronography would be commonplace on television, or that we would have a government legislating to break up the United Kingdom, barely bothering to conceal their republican bent, guilty of atrocious war crimes, rashly declaring war on Muslim terrorism which did not threaten us, while crawling abjectly to the IRA and even assisting it by releasing murderers from prison, making a criminal out of an honest shopkeeper because he sold in pounds and ounces, and jailing for life a decent householder who dared to defend his home by shooting a burglar, refusing to take any effective action against violent crime, encouraging sexual perversion by lowering the age of consent and drug abuse by relaxing the law on cannabis, legislating for women to serve on the front line (while the gallant warriors of Westminster sit snug and safe), showing themselves dead to any notion of patriotism and even discouraging the use of the word “British”, falling over themselves to destroy our institutions simply because they are frightened of offending hostile aliens, seeking to deny the right of habeas corpus, pandering to the bigotry of black racists and encouraging racial strife by their timid stupidity, letting foreign interests wreck our farming and fishing industries, and allowing the children of those wonderful people who gave us Belsen and Dachau a vital say in making our law and undermining our constitution…”

    He lives on the Isle of Man; perhaps these are relatively liberal opinions – the Isle of Man is not noted for progressive thought and its social enlightenment and has failed to make it a substantial world power, funnily enough. The thinkpieces within the book could be labelled “Fings ain’t wot they used to be” and read and agreed with or ignored as the last roar of the jurassic. Can’t say he’s wrong, for that would be so very arrogant, and all of it is engaging, but one wonders how such opinions would go down on a message board such as CBn’s, for example.

    No matter; a man’s views are a man’s views and of no more consequence than ripples in the stream. They might be barking, they might be brilliant. All I can venture is that although I read the book a week ago, some of what is written made me drop the book in the bath in either amusement or outrage or a combination of the two, and it’s been drying out in the airing cupboard all that time.

    Of more interest, and what combine to be the (rather cynical) usp of the book (he’s probably right in implying that had the book simply been the collection of “me thoughts”, in which he appears far more animated, it wouldn’t exist), the reminiscing about some films and some film stars, Octopussy included.

    Things we learn, before the Bond stuff:

    Guy Hamilton is a favourite of his, and had (with GMF) substantial input into Superman, although Alexander Salkind’s suggestion that Muhammed Ali would be cast as the Man of Steel seems to have been Salkind’s own work; GMF claims no credit and one can’t imagine why.

    Guy Hamilton used to show rough cuts of his pictures to the support staff and cleaners at the studios, to make sure the popular audience “got it”.

    Ali visited the set of The Man with the Golden Gun to pay homage to Christopher Lee; indeed, it is suggested that he dedicated his victory at the Rumble in the Jungle to Lee.

    The supervillains in Superman/Superman II eventually played by Terence Stamp etc were initially to be played by Christopher Lee as Zod (wow), Ursula Andress and Charles Bronson, with Mickey Rooney (?) as a fourth, “jester” character.

    Alexander Salkind considered Brando’s Jor-El might enter his scenes as if “coming in from golf”.

    Edward Fox was brought into Force Ten from Navarone as a last-minute substitute for an actor who was so displeased with the producer that he had wrenched the ‘phone from the wall; that actor being a “volatile Scot”…hmm…

    Both Sean Connery and Roger Moore were in the running for the lead in an adaptation of Taipan that never happened (the later production was not GMF-related)

    And then…

    “There may have been nicer people in Hollywood than Albert “Cubby” Broccoli, but I never met them…generous and considerate, and his staff and colleagues regarded him with an affection which I suspect was unique to a movie tycoon…it was simply that they liked him, and Cubby knew it and was touchingly grateful for it.”

    Now, whilst the Eon backed DVD documentaries have birthed the suspicion of revisionist history of Mr Broccoli, what we have with this memoir is a Fraser unafraid to let fly with sourness when he feels like it; for this sort of glowing testimonial, therefore, it suggests there’s some truth in those rumours…

    The picture of Broccoli created is one of a man extremely defensive of his output, and exceedingly protective of it too (his is the quote appearing at the top of this piece; GMF seems to have won him over). The overall experience GMF had was positive; albeit nervous at handling Bond, “it had immense advantages all too rare in the film world: you knew it was going to get made…”

    Things new (to me, anyway):

    It was GMF who suggested India (is this contradicted by a vague memory I have of India being suggested since Moonraker?)

    GMF suggested Kabir Bedi for the role of Gobinda.

    Broccoli considered filming GMF’s Flashman series, but expense and contractual difficulties proved prohibitive. [For what it’s worth, a personal view is that Roger Moore would have been great as Flash].

    GMF proposed a pre-credits sequence set at the Isle of Man TT races, a duel-to-the-death motorbike and sidecar race between Bond and a villain, two Bond “dollies” kicking about, “Swedish and German girls” in “leathers”; sounds something like our own John Cox’s proposal for the pre-credits of his treatment “Shatterhand“, in the fan fiction section here on CBn.

    When Bond is in the village in Germany, trying to get into the ‘phone booth, he would seek change for the call from a passer-by – cut to Gert Frobe claiming, “Sorry, I only have gold”. (!!!)

    But the key passage and something to dwell on in whatever criticisms we all have of Bond, some more vocal than others, is one where he describes how Bond, basically, is “the biggest thing in Hollywood”

    “This was brought home when Michael Wilson joined Kathy (Mrs GMF) and me at breakfast in our hotel on the first morning. The coffee shop was full of young Hollywood bravos talking deals, exchanging gossip, butchering characters… ‘taking meetings’… ‘doing lunch’… and bandying big names – until Wilson got to his feet and said: ‘Well, we musn’t keep Cubby waiting.’ Silence descended like a great blanket; heads turned on the magic name; and then the whispering started and continued until after we had left, followed by respectful stares, and an echo of the magic word ‘…Bond‘.”

    Infuritating, fascinating, appalling and exhilirating, a fun memoir, well worth a few moments of your time. Dries out remarkably slowly, though.

    You can purchace The Light’s on at Signpost by George MacDonald Fraser on Amazon.co.uk…

    Or on Amazon.com…

  5. Got a Licence to Kill

    By Jim on 2004-06-24

    There’s a theory that James Bond’s hiatus between 1989 and 1995 was as a result of threatened litigation. To an extent, that’s true. To an extent…

    It is a Friday in November 1989. In the offices of Throckmorton, Felch and Badger, solicitors of Floral Street, Covent Garden, partner Ken Felch returns to his office after lunch and finds a note pinned to his leather topped desk with a Sykes-Fairburn commando dagger. Wearily, unsurprised, he withdraws the weapon, reads the note, and then buzzes through to his secretary.

    “Labia, it looks like I’m expecting Mr Bond in five minutes; could you fish out his general file?”

    “Is that the blue one?”

    “No, that’s the Havelock sex change fiasco. I think it’s red. Blood red. He chose the colour. By the way, did you see him in here a moment ago?”

    “No.”

    “Well, you wouldn’t. Bring it through when you have it.”

    Felch settles himself in his chair and stares absentmidedly out of the window. To himself, ruefully stroking the tear in the leather, Felch curses his most troublesome client for his perverted sense of the dramatic. Good golfer, though; albeit a terribly paranoid one. One good shot and then he thinks you’re cheating, then sets out to physically destroy you. Odd man. Something high up in the Government, very hush-hush.

    Except, of course, now…that note.

    Felch. Ken Felch.

    Need your help. Think I’ve done something stupid. May have to go into hiding. Things are about to turn nass tee.

    Bond. James Bond.

    Funny sort of reddish-brown ink, thinks Felch. Spilled quite a bit on the floor, too. Oh, what could it be now? Not another angry husband blaming him for a divorce. Another outraged chef, a humiliated tailor? Not another incident with a Labrador? Times past, he knew Bond would have laughed those off. But he’s changed quite recently, Felch remembers. Become far more intense. Sometime around that trouble with trying to start a war in Afghanistan or somewhere.

    Felch laughs at the memory. What an imagination the man had! Still, it’s a lucrative imagination and golf club membership doesn’t pay for itself.

    Labia Conception wanders into the room, carrying the thick file of paper. What treasures that holds, thinks Felch. File’s pretty promising too.

    “He’s arrived, Mr Felch. I gave him a cup of tea…”

    “Oh God.”

    “…and he’s sitting in the waiting room reading that three year old copy of Puzzler magazine.”

    “How does he look?”

    “I think he was stuck on a jumbo wordsearch.”

    “No, that’s not what I mean. Let me ask you this, it’s something that’s always bothered me about our Mr Bond, and all his little sexual escapades which officially you know nothing about; is he that handsome?”

    “He is very good-looking. He reminds me rather of Hoagy Carmichael…”

    “Who?”

    “Sorry, Mr Felch. I forgot, it’s 1989, isn’t it? OK, he reminds me rather of Andrew Ridgeley…”

    “Who?”

    “But there’s something slightly un-English about him…”

    “Well, that’s true, Labia. Currently he’s pretending to be Welsh. I always felt his Scottish impersonation was the most successful.” Felch starts daydreaming. “Curious incident few years back now when he pretended to be an Australian…..Anyway, best send him in.”

    As Labia wanders out, Felch starts flicking through the file. So much in here. The average client with a personal injury claim delivers medical records that describe a three month whiplash complaint and three years of malingering but here, though, are toxins and gunshot wounds and people flinging barracuda at him. And, of course, this file is not all; whole room of files devoted to his liaisons, half the wall taken up with that thorny little problem that ensued when Bond found out that Dr Goodhead was married and her husband threatened to “do him”.

    Anyway…another day, another non-contentious charge plus VAT and disbursements. Felch knows he has to work harder on that one-liner.

    Bond enters the room.

    Funny sort of hairdo, thinks Felch. “Good afternoon, Mr Bond. I’ve been expecting you.” Usually that’s their little joke; it raises a brief smile. Now, nothing. Blimey, thinks Felch; one would think someone’s just fed his best mate to a shark or something. Again. Better not to speculate about that.

    “You got my note?”

    Felch looks at the bandaged hand, then back at the initial note. Lord. Yes, thinks Felch…Andrew Ridgeley…Labia may have something. Apart from crabs and an inability to type his name without laughing. “Yes. How are you?”

    “Fine. Sorry I’m late; I had to stop off at the nursery…fourth birthday party for the triplets…well, you know.”

    Indeed I do, thinks Felch. Indeed I do… “Well, you’re here now, James. What’s the problem? Miss…Mr Havelock’s stitching hasn’t come undone again, has it?”

    “No, Bernard’s fine, last I heard. Happy in Rochdale, apparently. But, Ken,…I think…I think I may have lost my job. Accidentally.”

    Felch raises an eyebrow, and wonders whether Bond recognises in that his own affectation. Apparently not.

    “I see. Right, before you tell me, let me fish out your contract of employment… right…” Felch starts rifling through the red file. “No, that’s parking fines… for a submarine…turbocharged gyrocopter fines… C4 bills… disputed tailor’s invoice for bright yellow stealth skiing equipment…why is that there? Oh yes, unfit for purpose, s14(2) Sale of Goods Act 1979 – they’ve made an offer but we’ll discuss that another time… paternity suits… maternity suits… here we are. Right…” Felch extracts the contract, closes the file and flicks through the ten page document. “I haven’t seen this in a long time. Not since you had that argument with your boss about whether pinching bullion barons’ girlfriends was part of your job or not and we had to remind him of Schedule 4 Part I clause 3(b)(ii). Happy days, happy days…Now, what’s the problem?”

    “Well, it was a few months ago, July say. Went to a wedding in Key West.”

    “Mm, nice.”

    “Wasn’t. Things went wrong.”

    Why is that no surprise?, thinks Felch.

    “Just before the wedding, my friend and I captured this drugs baron…”

    “Was the drugs baron ripped from the headlines?”

    “Yes.”

    “Oh dear.” Even for this man, especially for this man, this sounds terribly unrealistic, muses Felch. “No…nothing; do carry on.”

    “So we captured this drugs baron ripped from the headlines but he escaped…”

    “Did he have a comedy gondola?”

    “No.”

    “Oh.”

    “And then he mutilated my friend and murdered his wife and I wanted to go after this drugs baron ripped from the headlines but mmm…my boss said I couldn’t so I ran off and…”

    “I see. This sounds serious.”

    “It was, consistently.”

    “Was there a comedy gondola involved at all?

    “No.”

    “Pity. I liked the comedy gondola. What happened then?”

    “I then went on a one man mission to destroy this drug baron ripped from the headlines and it all ended up with a lot of tankers being hurled about and some sort of big explosions.”

    “Sounds…different.”

    “Trouble is, I think that somewhere in the middle of all this I managed to lose my job…”

    Felch flicks through the contract.

    “James, I’m your lawyer, and your friend as long as you keep paying me, so it’s in both our interests to see if I can help you. Sounds like you had a falling out with your boss… by the way, I heard your boss is on his way out… going to be replaced by a lady.”

    “How did you hear that? How? Tell me.”

    Felch is surprised at Bond’s angry, suspicious response. “Umm…it was in yesterday’s Telegraph. Everyone knows. Apparently she’s going to insist all agents bathe in patchouli oil each evening…so the rumour goes, anyway…”

    Felch watches Bond do a funny bulgy twinkle thing with his eyes…

    “Back to business, James. You had a falling out with the boss, that’s happened a fair bit…”

    “This is the big one, Felch. I…resigned…”

    I see, thinks Felch. Right, this sounds tricky, and expensive. So far so good. He presses his intercom. “Miss Conception? Cancel my other engagements and could you bring in a pot of coffee. And some cups this time, there’s a love.”

    He refixes his gaze on Bond. “And how did this…resignation manifest itself?”

    “What do you mean?”

    “Did you say ‘stuff this job!’ Or ‘I can’t work here any longer, it’s intolerable!’ That sort of thing.”

    “I said it was a farewell to arms…”

    “Eh?”

    “Well, I had this meeting with the chief at the Hemingway House so…”

    Felch looks blank.

    “Y’know, Hemingway House, A Farewell to Arms…”

    “Nope. Run that one by me again.”

    “Hemingway. A Farewell to Arms…”

    “Right. Had you taken something? Anyway, that being a little obscure, what else did you do? Did you say anything sensible, for example?”

    “I kicked one of the guards away and vaulted the balcony.”

    “The direct approach. Hmm…”

    “Problem?”

    “If you want me to advise you whether you have any potential for a claim against your boss, maybe get some leverage with that to get back into your job…I’m having trouble seeing one. Y’see, most employment claims depend on there having been a dismissal, and unfortunately walking out…”

    “…jumping out…”

    “…jumping out is a resignation, not a dismissal. Basically, unless we can say you were dismissed, I’m afraid you’re a bit stuffed. So let’s go back a bit; before you hurled yourself off the balcony, did your boss do or say anything that we could argue at length and at much cost construes a dismissal?”

    “Well, I was frogmarched to meet him, and the DA was apparently screaming to know what had happened. Apparently…”

    “Hm…could be a breach of his duty of mutual trust and confidence to you; go on…”

    “…And, now I remember, there were some cats…”

    “Ah! Yes, of course. That’s somewhere in here, isn’t it?” Felch starts flicking through the contract. “Gun allowance…knife allowance…big floppy clown hat allowance…nuke defusing training exemptions…here we go…”

    Schedule 5, being the fifth hereinbeforetomentioned schedule.

    4. Being the inter alia hazardous substances and materials and creatures and persons to which the employer covenants never to expose the employee:

    (i) tea
    (ii) commercial brands of cigarettes
    (iii) inexpensive vehicles
    (iv) unattractive women
    (v) fat women
    (vi) unexploitable women
    (vii) polyester
    (viii) the Chinese, generally
    (ix) normal people
    (x) cats with the exception of one “Ms” Pussy Galore, gym mistress and head of disciplinary theory and tuppence manipulation, Rodean School for lissome girls.

    Felch smiles, encouraging. “An idea is forming, James. Let’s see…did he say or do anything that suggests you were actually dismissed; fired, unless that’s a bad pun.”

    “He said I had to go to Istanbul…”

    “Hmm…not sure we could argue that’s actually a dismissal…”

    “By the previous evening…”

    “Sounds like the old man was ripe for retirement. Anything else?”

    “Well, there was this man lurking around the lighthouse taking potshots at me…”

    Felch suddenly feels himself becoming excited and rich and excited at the thought of becoming rich.

    “Really? Was that before you started lashing out wildly?”

    “No; after.”

    Felch sees the daydream of Miss Conception running away to Bermuda with both him and the client account, disappear as quickly as it had appeared. Damn the man.

    “No matter,” says Felch, fighting back the tears. “We could still argue that you were constructively dismissed. He wanted to change your terms of employment; says here, Schedule 7 clause 6(b)(ii)(a) that you’re allowed one blood vendetta every ten years, so it would appear that trying to stop you was a repudiatory breach of your contract. Accordingly, and stop me if I’m boring you, you were entitled to resign within a reasonable time, seems to cover immediately hurling yourself off a balcony, and you were thereby wrongfully dismissed.” Felch stops for breath. That had taken a satisfyingly expensive amount of time to say.

    “Hm. What do I get for that?”

    “You get paid your notice period…what’s that? Here we are; ‘until death or becomes beyond credulity when soaping down girls young enough to be his sperm.’ Curious phraseology…anyway, quite a bit or money for you there, plus any contractual entitlements…let’s see… ‘company car, company hairpiece, company SM manual, pension, accrued holiday pay, full state burial with flypast of autogyros, one secretary to have your wicked way with, two kilos of gorgonzola, one corn, notably on the cob , and a bottle of Milton sterilising fluid’…very curious contract you signed here….”

    “Anything else?”

    “Well, sounds to me like you might also have a claim for unfair dismissal.”

    “Speak.”

    “Well, you appear to be within the age limits for eligibility…even though I remember reading once that you were born in 1920…”

    “Ignore that. I always do.”

    “And you’ve had more than a year’s continuous employment, and if that argument about dismissal comes off…well, they have to prove it was fair…”

    “Can they?”

    “Hmm…could argue organisational reasons, y’know, to try to keep the whole thing economic and a viable concern…”

    “Can we keep in character please?”

    “Sorry Timoth…James…but even if they do that, they have to show they handled it reasonably, in that taking into account the resources of your employer and the overall equity of the situation, that dismissing you was within a range of reasonable responses to the situation. They could have offered other options, I’m sure. A period of consultation, that sort of thing.”

    “And having a man shooting at one from a lighthouse isn’t consultation?”

    “Not generally recognised as such, no. Were you offered a training day?”

    “No.”

    “Well, that’s looking better and better…” Felch notices Bond shift uneasily in his seat. “Problem, James?”

    “Well, I don’t really want to cause trouble.” Which is a total lie, thinks Felch. You forget, I’ve met you. “You see, I like my job. It causes me torment of the soul but actually, I’m not sure I could do anything else.”

    Felch breathes deep. Well well well…

    Miss Conception wanders into the room and puts the coffee tray down on the desk. Felch watches Bond’s eyes watching Miss Conception.

    “Hello, I’m James. Thank you for the coffee, I’m sure it will be…exquisite…”

    Smoother than diaorreah off a doorknob, this bloke, thinks Felch.

    Felch notices Miss Conception blush in a manner he himself has yet to extract from her. He pours himself a cup of coffee and raises it to his lips as Miss Conception twitters on…

    “Oh, Mr Bond! Well, if I can call you James, you can call me Labia…”

    Suddenly, Felch feels the cup being grabbed from his lips. Bond has leapt from his chair and, in one swift move, has snatched Felch’s cup and hurled it against the wall. The girl runs from the room, screaming.

    “Umm…care to explain that one?”

    Bond scans the room, eyes shooting about all over the place. Man’s on drugs, thinks Felch. Apparently satisfied that Felch’s wallpaper presents him no threat, Bond retakes his seat.

    “That was a Russian name. She’ll have drugged that coffee, the bitch.”

    “From what I remember, she’s actually from Twickenham.” From what I remember, thinks Felch. Ha! The evenings he spends watching her house from his car, eating malteasers and crying into his cup-a-soup…

    “KGB are strong in Twickenham,” Bond mutters. “And Ipswich. Watch her,” he advises Felch, entirely unnecessarily in the circumstances.

    Felch sighs. “Anyway, back to the point. You don’t want to cause trouble, but to be frank, James, it doesn’t sound like the new regime of encounter groups, scented candles and psychological assessments and weirdo inward reflection gobbledegook crud your boss’s proposed replacement is going to introduce – and I quote the leader in the Daily Telegraph when I say that – is going to appeal to you. My advice is this; OK, you’ve made a bit of a boo-boo here, but you’ll be back. Might be time to change your persona again; maybe, if you are now going to be bossed around by women, be more cynically manipulative of their instincts; perhaps you should be talking feelings and betrayal and good hair products and all that sort of stuff. You might need some time to work on that.”

    Bond shifts uneasily in his seat. “Couldn’t I threaten them with bringing a claim?”

    “You could, and I think that’s exactly what you should do. Have that hanging over them.”

    “So….don’t fancy the idea of saying it was unfair; seems a bit childish and I’ve suddenly developed a tough new outlook. But this Wrongful Dismissal one; how long do I have before time runs out to claim it, before it’s no threat to them?”

    “As it’s basically breach of contract…six years.”

    “Six years, eh? That’ll take me to…November 1995. I guess the danger is that if I threaten them with a claim, they’ll put me on the inactive roster all that while…but it’s worth the gamble…”

    “Decided?”

    “Decided.”

    “Good. I’ll write them a stiff letter. No, please don’t unwrap your bandage – I’ve plenty of ink here. And now, as for my fee…”

    Felch thought he could hear the hairs on the back of Bond’s neck rising to stand on end, in fear.

  6. "No Laughing Matter"

    By Jim on 2004-04-21

    Jacques StewartOn April 5, 2004, Ian Fleming Publications announced a new series of ‘Young James Bond” novels featuring the super spy as a 13-year-old solving mysteries aside his fellow classmates at Eton. Now CBn’s own Jacques Stewart gives fans this exclusive look at what we may expect from a pint-sized 007.

    With apologies to Ian Fleming. But then I’m not the only one who should be apologising, am I?

    Original material from Casino Royale copyright Ian Fleming Publications Ltd.


    As they deciphered the maze of purple crayon which covered the double holepunched menu, Bond beckoned to the dinner lady. He turned to his companion.

    “Have you decided?”

    “I would love a glass of Nesquik,” she said simply, and went back to her study of the menu.

    “A small carafe of Nesquik, banana, very cold,” ordered Bond. He said to her abruptly: “I can’t drink the health of your new frock without knowing your Christian name.”

    “Mistral,” she said. “Mistral Fotheringham-Tush.”

    Bond gave her a look of inquiry.

    “It’s rather a bore always having to explain, but I was born in the evening, on a very stormy evening according to mumsy and dadsy. Apparently they wanted to remember it.” She smiled. “Some people like it, others don’t. I’m just used to it.”

    “I think it’s a corking name,” said Bond, feeling a little funny. An idea struck him. “Can I borrow it?” He explained about the special fizzy pop he had invented and his search for a name for it. “The Fotheringham-Tush,” he said. “It sounds perfect and it’s very appropriate to the violet hour when my super-duper fizzy pop will now be drunk all over the world. Can I have it?”

    “So long as I can try one first,” she promised. “It sounds a drink to be proud of.”
    “We’ll have one together when all this is finished,” said Bond, his voice going haywire. “Win or lose. Two straws, mind; girls have germs and are rotten. And now have you decided what you would like to have for tuck? Please be expensive,” he added as he sensed her hesitation, ” ’cause I’ve been saving up my meal coupons something rotten.”

    “I’d made two choices,” she laughed, “and either would have been delicious, but behaving like a real proper adult with forks and everything occasionally is a wonderful treat and if you’re sure … well, I’d like to start with alphabetty spaghetti and then have a plain grilled fishfinger with pommes McCain. And then I’d like to have tangerine jelly with a lot of condensed milk. Is it very shameless to be so certain and so expensive?” She smiled at him and his willy went odd.

    “It’s a virtue, and anyway it’s only a good plain wholesome meal.” He turned to the dinner lady, “…and bring plenty of ketchup.”

    “The trouble always is,” he explained to Mistral, “not how to get enough alphabetty spaghetti, but how to get enough ketchup with it.”

    “Now,” he turned back to the menu, “I myself will accompany Miss…er..Tral…er… with the alphabetty spaghetti, but then I would like a very small barbeque meat-like grill patty, underdone, with sauce brown and no frickin’ broccoli, hate it hate it hate it. While Miss … er… is enjoying the jelly, I will have a big bowl of chocolate ice-cream. Not strawberry, because that’s what strange uncles eat. Do you approve?”

    The dinner lady bowed.

    “My compliments young Master James and young missy. Mr Benjamin,” she turned to the large silly golliwog man who operated the tea urn and repeated the two dinners for his benefit. Because he was stupid.

    “Parfait,” said Benjamin in an odd and, to Bond’s mind, suspicious way.

    “If you agree,” said Bond, “I would prefer to drink blackcurrant cordial with you tonight. It is a cheerful toothrot and suits the occasion – I hope,” he added, a strange fishy liquid leaking down his inner thigh.

    “Yes I would like blackcurrant,” she said.

    With his finger up his nose, Bond turned to Benjamin. “The C-Vit?”

    “A fine cordial, mass’er,” said the funny fellow with the sooty head. “But if mass’er will permit,” he pointed with his pencil – the nerve of these people – “the Ribena Light toothkind is without equal.”

    Bond smiled. “So be it,” he said.

    “That is not a well known brand,” Bond explained to his companion, “but it is probably the finest blackcurrant in Surrey.” He grinned suddenly at the touch of pretension in his remark. He stopped grinning when he thought she was looking at his braces.

    “You must forgive me,” he said. “I take a ridiculous pleasure in what I eat and drink. It comes partly from the other swines in the dorm having pinched all my tuck, the stinkers.”

    Mistral smiled at him.

    “I like it,” she said. “I like doing everything fully, getting the most out of everything one does. I think that’s the way to live. But it does sound rather schoolgirlish when one says it,” she added, apologetically.

    The little carafe of Nesquik had arrived in its bowl of crushed ice and Bond filled their glasses.

    “Show us yer tits.”

    “For a shilling.”

    Lawks! thought Bond. He shouldn’t have bought that copy of Biggles Kills the Nignogs from Small-Fawcett jnr. But it was such a good story… “Sixpence to touch your gym knickers?”

    “Done.”

    Wahey!

  7. Sex And The Single Agent: 'The Man With The Golden Gun'

    By Jim on 2002-05-08

    “He said it and meant it, “Goodnight. You’re an angel.” At the same time, he knew, deep down, that love from Mary Goodnight, or from any other woman, was not enough for him. It would be like taking “a room with a view”. For James Bond, the same view would always pall.

    -The Man with the Golden Gun, Ian Fleming

    Then what of this last paragraph of this last book? There are interpretations abundant. Likening Mary Goodnight to an angel coheres with the religious metaphors already considered; Goodnight is SIS, she is one of those amongst the gods whom Bond now rejoins. Additionally, the entire paragraph is possibly a remembrance of Tracy Bond, and we read “from any other woman…” as “from any other woman but Tracy….” That would be consistent with the book’s place at the conclusion of the closing trilogy, and yet the argument lacks conviction. Golden Gun is a book notable for the absence of Bond casting his mind back. To do so at the end seems out of character for the new, “cleansed” Bond of this new, dirty world. Bond has been returned to his initial silhouette, and will be coloured anew by the changed world.

    Are we then to read “any other woman…” as “any woman…”? If it is intended to refer to Tracy, why not mention her? Not a particularly original reading, perhaps, but is Golden Gun the Bond book in which Fleming examines homosexuality?

    Examining Fleming’s attitudes to homosexuality in his earlier books, his opinion is clear. Wint and Kidd are portrayed as soulless, cringing and flawed psychopaths. However sadistic they are as killers, their flaws undermine them and render them no match for Bond. Rosa Klebb is fundamentally horrific, and it’s interesting to see how Fleming exposes her horror to his reader. We are told about her skills as a violent torturer, but such tortures happen offstage. With the shorthand that his bigotry allows him, Fleming makes her one terrible act not a killing, but her attempt to seduce Tatiana, and he makes it a deliberately disgusting incident. Additionally, Bond is sorry, but has no time, for Tilly Masterton, albeit that he makes time to “cure” Pussy Galore, which is most kind of him. In Old Bond World, homosexuals are deformed or disgusting or damaged or die, and often a combination of the four.

    And then, in the New World, there’s Scaramanga. It’s a curious thing, but Fleming’s major villains are generally sexless. Save for noting that the Thunderball Blofeld had not been known to sleep with anyone of either sex, it’s rare to see a comment about the libido of any of the main antagonists, even when Fleming is at his most descriptive about their background. Le Chiffre, Mr Big, Drax, General G, Dr No and Goldfinger escape substantial personal revelation. That may be just as well, because they’re physical grotesques, but until Blofeld and Irma Bunt, more grotesques, we have no villainous coupling. Even then, however vile it is, it’s incidental. With Scaramanga, Fleming is making the villain’s sexuality a specific character point. He is making it relevant to the tale.

    But then, where does it go? What does he do with it? At the end of the tale, we have a shoot-out; Bond survives, and will wander off with the girl. The dossier on Scaramanga at the start of the book, assessing him as homosexual with a pronounced sexual drive, albeit not a noted whistler, does not appear to be correct in its conclusion. There is no explicit incident in the book to illustrate this defining character point, and as it stands, it appears to be a jarringly irrelevant revelation.

    As ever, subtext. As ever, imagery. As ever, perhaps more by accident than design, there is plenty in Golden Gun to suggest that Fleming is still capable of playing games with his readers and subverting his own hero. This is not the ferociously, and tersely, negative Fleming of the earlier books. There are incidents and concepts in Golden Gun to suggest that Fleming is obsessed with, and intrigued by, homosexuality enough to even cast his hero in a new light. This is all pre-Wolfenden, and the implicit must remain so.

    Examine the scene at 3 and a half Love Lane. We are told that Scaramanga is upstairs with a woman, albeit that we never see the woman, and Bond flirts with a girl. All’s well in the world. Scaramanga’s entrance changes things wholesale. The scene then becomes solely about the two men, the girl is largely forgotten until the end, and we have one man hiring another man in a brothel whilst one waves his gun about and starts shooting off, to impress. The gun’s notoriety as a phallic symbol is well ventilated; is making it golden emphasising its glory, its potency? Additionally, Scaramanga’s express motives for hiring Bond seem undernourished. He has not seen Bond in action as a labour relations operative, and has barely been talking to him in anything other than euphemisms. It’s not the most rigorous job interview. The reasons for Scaramanga renting Bond are weak and unconvincing and render Scaramanga an idiot, unless, of course, in this one place where a sexual atmosphere is guaranteed, that sexual atmosphere pervades and clouds his judgment.

    Having prostituted himself to Scaramanga, query Bond’s reaction to the man. Given the opportunity to kill him straight away, Bond withdraws, for no better reason than he would have to kill Scaramanga’s driver too. Bond is showing new qualms; he would not previously have hesitated. Whilst he chides himself for losing this opportunity, Bond is given another one when he watches an unarmed Scaramanga trampolining. Instead, he considers the man’s physical prowess. Not an entirely willing participant, however, Bond will block off the door to his bedroom to try to prevent Scaramanga getting in, and remove one bullet from Scaramanga’s gun, and images of rape prevention and impotence emerge. Bond’s attitude throughout the book is hard to fathom. It may be a consequence of the unpolished text. It may be a consequence of New Bond experiencing New World. It may be Fleming keeping deliberately ambivalent his hero’s reaction to his surroundings. Bond has had all his emotions exposed in earlier books; now, the author is making us guess what those emotions might be, dropping hints along the way, some quiet, some thunderous.

    Another page, another reference. When challenged upon his true identity by Nick Nicholson, he and Bond share a look of the specie shared by crooks, spies and homosexuals. Another express reference, that ultimately need not have been there, unless it was meant to be. Grouping all three together may be Fleming’s little joke at the expense of Burgess and Maclean; it’s also a joke at Bond’s expense, in the environment in which he has found himself.

    Consider also the dramatis personae. Gone are the stronger female characters of the previous books, good or bad. Scaramanga surrounds himself with men, Bond included. Women are secretaries, dancers or prostitutes and have very little to do. The character of Mary Goodnight is the most significantly underwritten Fleming woman; again, accident of an incomplete book, or by design? She is not in distress, she does not need saving at the end of the book. Bond must save himself. She is of no narrative consequence whatsoever. She does not drive the story. Bond does not need to win her or woo her as with his previous conquests. On a pure story basis, she might as well not exist.

    Metaphorically, however, she is of importance. An examination of the Bond/Scaramanga relationship occurs in the scene in Bond’s room when Goodnight climbs through his window. Bond has tried to defend his entrance, but still, Scaramanga gets in. Two half-naked men and a girl in a bathroom. Scaramanga’s explanation that he heard talking does not cohere with the care Bond and Goodnight have taken to ensure that the water is running, to avoid being overheard. It is therefore possible that Scaramanga was going to come in, gun out, regardless of what was going on. A man and a woman together is the guilty coupling. One of the men must protect himself from exposure by pretending that the girl is his fiancée, which she is not. Scaramanga lets her go; he’s not interested in her. His trick with the tailor’s dummy Goodnight on the railway line continues the metaphor; kill off the shell that is Mary Goodnight, and you’ll expose James Bond. It’s an interesting joke.

    And prior to this bathroom confrontation, where has Old Triple Nipple been hiding? He’s been hiding in the closet.

    That final paragraph. Bond has reclaimed himself, both in the eyes of his superiors, but furthermore, he’s killed the villain, seen off Scaramanga’s express and implicit threats and got the girl. Having dragged himself back into the gods, we see here a moment of self-awareness and regret. It’s difficult to say what Bond’s emotions are at the end of the novel. There is no definite conclusion.

    Such is life.

    Certainly, Bond does not express any devotion to Scaramanga, and neither would he. The final paragraph does not indicate that James Bond is homosexual. Confused and frustrated, perhaps, and the book is riddled with confusion and frustration, political, religious, social and sexual. With Scaramanga, there are undercurrents, which Bond has not experienced before in his black and white destruction of a succession of evil people. The subtext of the relationship with Bond and Scaramanga is another uncertain, incomplete, fluctuating grey area in a New World full of them.

    Such is life.

    The Man with the Golden Gun is as close as Fleming gets to an examination of the ill-defined politics, social and sexual, that are the distinguishing feature of reality rather than fantasy. The plot? The plot only needs to service this examination. A recognition of the less rigid structures of its age than its predecessors had been, there is in Golden Gun need for serious critical re-evaluation and the groundwork for a more advanced Bond novel, and a more ambivalent and complex lead character than previously presented to us. Denied to us, like many things.

    Such is life.

  8. Religion, Politics, Death and Sex: 'The Man With The Golden Gun'

    By Jim on 2002-05-03

    Oft-criticised as ill conceived and insubstantial, The Man with the Golden Gun is the last of Fleming and stands as a curious conclusion to the literary Bond. The popular analysis of the novel as a weaker entry in the series is understandable. The book was unfinished or, perhaps more accurately, unpolished at Fleming’s death, and the plot is not the missile-napping and germ warfare of earlier books, nor is this tale (which on one level is that of a Cuban thug trying to raise a mortgage) the apparent equal to the histrionics of Goldfinger the film, released in the same year.

    On that analysis, the story is indeed flat. There is no immediate threat to the world. There is no colossally evil ultravillain. Accordingly, the book appears to be a significant discrepancy, a disappointment even, after the narratively extravagant On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and You Only Live Twice.

    Query whether this maligned reputation is deserved. Hiding its nature, Golden Gun has several bullets in its chambers which suggest that Fleming was at work on his most geopolitically and psychosexually expansive work, disguised as a spy tale of a relatively minor scale. Completed by others it may have been, but there are clues in the book to indicate that Fleming was determined to expand this James Bond novel beyond the others. Had he lived to complete and redraft it where necessary, Golden Gun may have gained what is arguably its proper reputation: Fleming’s most mature book, perhaps even his best.

    The key to Golden Gun is, of course, Bond’s resurrection at the opening of the novel. The assassination attempt on M as an incident is striking and its narrative purpose is plain, to tie up loose ends hanging over from the previous book. It is also significant thematically, and has a marked effect upon the development of the book’s ideas.

    In this opening, we are presented with Bond back in the introspective and self-obsessed world of espionage, where Bond is utilised as a pawn between M and Colonel Boris, ostensibly men with a huge effect on the world, but using Bond on a very small scale, a personal vendetta. Men with too much power using it, not for survival, but for their own amusement. This is not the real world; this is a game played out on a plane divorced from the world. The only context is their own, and one of their own devising. The result of Bond’s actions is banishment from this world. That the next occasion we encounter Bond is at Kingston airport, having descended from the clouds, is not accidental.

    The fallen angel is a routine religious metaphor, as indeed is its unsurprising conclusion, the redemption at the end of the novel, the key back into the gods. Golden Gun follows that basic Judeo-Christian construction. What is interesting is that Fleming effectively kills Bond off from that other world, and for the remainder of the book, prior to his ascension, he is reborn into a politically and socially authentic world, where there are no supervillains. It’s time to get real.

    Furthermore, this is not the same Bond. Bond has been “unbrainwashed”, and the cleansing subtext is intriguing. A common criticism of the book is that there is little or no reference to Tracy, or indeed anything from the previous novels. That is not undeliberate. The book does not need it. This is New Bond, and because of the way that the political background of the book is presented to us, it is important that this is New Bond, not Old Bond, he who is dead. This is because the regeneration metaphor is prevalent to the book’s analysis of the real world into which Bond is reborn. The world has changed and Bond will change with it.

    Being a Jamaican by extraction, I have in equal measure been amused at the quaintness and depressed at the elitism of Fleming’s depiction of Jamaica in Dr No, his other major “Jamaica book”. The world presented to us in Dr No is Old Bond’s world. There is little to doubt that Dr No himself is to be destroyed because he is impinging on the Empire, on Britain’s possession. That book sends out a signal, which is fundamentally “Hands off. Ours”. Although the stuffiness of the Governor and his staff is mocked, Bond can rely upon the backbone of the Imperial system to get him out of a fix if need be. Additionally, British agent 007 foils Dr No’s plot, which is attacking the interests of the United States, not directly Britain’s interests. To the rescue of the world, here comes Britain. You cannot pull the lion’s tail, you half-German, half-Chinese freak.

    All very jolly, but fundamentally historically naïve. The Suez Crisis, contemporaneous to Dr No, would expose the lion as a gummy old cat. The Cuban Missile crisis, despite its geographical proximity to Jamaica and political proximity to a war, Britain did not get involved in, leaving it to the Americans. Dr No is not real world. Dr No is Old Bond world, where those in Whitehall can convince themselves they still have global relevance. Even as late as You Only Live Twice, with the negotiations over Magic 44, we see Old Bond world deluding itself as important.

    Golden Gun is revolutionary. The dregs of Empire into which HazardBond descends are politically more realistic and more mature on the part of the author than his futile flag-waving had been. There are express changes: at the conclusion of the novel, the inquests and congratulations are dealt with, not by British civil servants as in Dr No, but Jamaican dignitaries. Government House, such resolute support in Dr No, is impotent. Ross is killed, Mary Goodnight offers little real practical support (also relevant to the sexual themes of the book) and it is the Americans, the new colonisers, who have managed to infiltrate the Thunderbird Hotel. It is the Americans who rescue Bond. The British are now bit-players in a three way drama between the US, the USSR and Cuba. They are of little real significance. This is the New World.

    Could Old Bond have survived in this world? Old Bond, who wraps himself in the flag and the language of the bigot (cf: dialogue with Drax, Tanaka, Dr No)? Would he have coped? Arguably, no. To be pertinent to this new, real world, to function at all, New Bond must be “clean” of that baggage. Thus Bond must be cleansed and the subtextual importance of the assassination attempt is becoming clearer. It is critical and consistent that this Bond is undeveloped His character is not that of the Bond of the previous books; like Britain itself, he is a child newly thrust into this world, Empire and personality and all their respective memories are eradicated and of no practical use.

    Not everything has changed. With Scaramanga’s scheme, Fleming still persists in bizarre polemic, lumping terrorism, black power and Cuba together as one, likening the civil rights movement and trade unions to those promoting communism. Although these observations are made by the villain rather than Old Bond (how times change), it’s pretty plain what Fleming’s spin on the issue is. On its surface, therefore, this book retains the reactionary nature of its forbears. What has changed, however, is the undercurrent of utter futility.

    Scaramanga’s concerns are the US and Cuba, not Britain. He kills British agents for fun. They are not to be taken seriously. The Bond/Scaramanga duel at the end of the book will ultimately change nothing. It will not end the Cold War, in the manner that Bond ended Blofeld’s plans by destroying Piz Gloria, or Goldfinger’s plans by putting a message in the toilet bowl of a small aeroplane. The demented personal politics aside, Golden Gun is a notably more politically astute book. Nothing changes as a result of the climax. Scaramanga’s death will ultimately mean very little. The optimistic certainty that destroying a great, if evil, man, like Goldfinger or Dr No, will achieve something, will change or better the world, is replaced with the more prosaic ambivalence that the destruction of Scaramanga could well be futile. Unlike its parallel of the duel between M and Colonel Boris at the book’s opening, great men playing games in a small world, the concluding sequence in the swamp is a small scale fight between small scale men but set against a huge world they do not control. New Bond world is not an arena for great men. They are fantasy. It is now the world of the Scaramangas.

    The achievement Bond has at the end of the novel is not having bettered the world to any noticeable extent, but a far more credible personal one, his redemption and his ticket back to the gods. Although, of course, for otherwise there would be no pat happy ending, Bond accepts that ticket, he rejects the knighthood, and that has thematic resonance in this New World: of what importance could that offshoot of Empire now be? Logically, to refuse the bauble is the correct action. Even if accepting it would have made for an even happier ending, it would have been inconsistent with the subtext, it would have been a jarring theme. Bond is welcomed back amongst the gods having lived amongst men and having seen their world. It remains an ambiguous ending; is wilful resurrection to the Old World the right choice?

    At the book’s conclusion, the rebirth is complete, and rebirth is not a word chosen lightly. Birth was Casino Royale, and of all the preceding Bond novels, it is Casino Royale that Golden Gun most closely resembles. The overall humourless tone aside, the basic plot has marked similarities; Bond foils an attempt by an enemy agent to raise funds to promote disruptive USSR interests abroad. Bond has come full circle. He has died, and this is his second life. The book is not distinct from OHMSS and You Only Live Twice; it is the necessary conclusion to its trilogy. This second life just happens to start in a similar manner to his first. This is the authorial joke behind Golden Gun. Bond has come the full 360 degrees and emerged out of the Old World into the New. Fleming is starting again, leaving the baggage of personal and political history behind. That we never saw how this New World developed is unfortunate, but because of this circularity, fate renders Golden Gun the appropriate place to conclude the literary Bond. The character has revolved as the world has evolved. Had he been afforded the opportunity, it would have been fascinating to see where Fleming took Bond beyond Golden Gun. Sadly, with the chance to recreate his character in a developed world denied to Fleming, that future is only one of themes, schemes and impossible dreams.

    So much for Religion, Politics and Death. Part two of this essay will examine the sexual themes of the book. In a book as rich in subtext as The Man with the Golden Gun, that concluding paragraph must mean something, surely?