Charles (Bryce 003) Axworthy offers some advice on keeping your “company car” up to 007 standards.

Preface: I realize this article may not apply to some of you if you’re either too young, live in a city with a great public transportation system or just don’t have a set of wheels (yet) to call your own. Also, I speak from the personal experience of having owned a “lemon” (read: POS factory gem), an old foreign model, and presently an SUV and a classic British luxury car with a legacy. That said – here we go!

“You’ll be using this Aston Martin DB5 with modifications.” – Something every Bond Fan would like to hear at age 16 or 116. It ain’t likely. But, regardless of whatever auto you own or have owned, the moment you either accept the keys or sign the check, it’s yours.

First up, responsibility. Insurance, proper registration and (hopefully) a valid driver’s license. These things are the “extra’s” that come with the package that the dealership, friend or relative doesn’t include. They are not optional. There is no “Sorry Q, it got blown up or split in half by a buzz saw wielding helicopter.”

Now, what have you got? Well, what you paid for (or if you’re lucky enough) simply agreed to. Presuming that you purchased or accepted said vehicle, it’s either something you like/wanted or it fits your needs. Hence, you should have it checked out. It’s yours.

A large percentage of the population (sadly) view cars as a mode of transportation simply for use in getting from point A to point B. We, as Bond Fans, know better. With that, let’s break it down.

Appearance – Bond cars always look like they just came out of the factory, detailed better than one of Ken Adam’s sets. So, in short, keep your car clean. A good wash and wax can be done for around $10 at any such establishment. This goes for inside as well. Clutter and trash is okay for a cross-country road trip, but for everyday, the car should not be suited only for the driver. You never know when that hot babe or stud is going to ask for a ride and the last thing you want is them hesitating to get in because the passenger seat is littered with empty water bottles, receipts, maps, candy bar wrappers or cigarette packs. If your car is your office, keep this in mind. Always clean it out at the end of the day and/or week. The other issue is that I’ve had too many friends complaining about losing a receipt and even pay checks because their car is a pit. I just shake my head.

Maintainence – When you first get your car, get it to either a dealership (whether you got it from a friend or relative) or an experienced mechanic you trust. Do this once. Dealerships give you top quality, yet they also give you top prices. You are never obligated to have the work done by a dealership, but if nothing else, they will tell you exactly what condition your vehicle is in. Most dealerships will give you a breakdown/estimate for less than $50US and it does give you some idea of what you’ve gotten yourself into in the long run. That said, there are only two things you need to do. 1) Have a LOF (Lube, Oil, Filter) done every 2500 miles. 2) Check your oil every other tank. I’m not trying to sound like everyone’s Dad, but it is good advice and will help to maintain your vehicle. Lastly, if planning a long trip (say more than 300 miles-180km) get to your chosen mechanic and tell them how far you’re going in total and make sure all fluids, belts, pumps and such are in order for such a journey. This does two things. 1) Assures you that your vehicle will make the trip 2) If something does go wrong on the road there’s someone, other than yourself to blame. (unless, of course, there is a helicopter involved) Also, if there is an Auto Club to join, do so. In the States we have AAA and I’m not sure what is offered in other parts of the world. It’s worth it. You pay a small fee and can have your car towed or even started roadside. They can also do minor repairs to get you on your way.

Optional Extras – This is the fun part. CD players, SAT NAV GPS, custom paint job, upholstery, rocket launchers, machine guns, smoke screen, oil slick, ejector seat… Whatever you want to install is at your (and your checkbook’s) discretion. It’s your car.

Driving – Every man or woman for themselves. Much like flying, the number of hours you have behind the wheel adds to your experience. Not so much as a driver, but in so much as being familiar with your car. You should be able to glance at a parking space and know that you can fit into it. As to being pursued over frozen lakes or fjords, take your best shot and remember that no amount of Q Branch technology beats a good old fashioned ram/tap to either the left or right rear fender on the opposing car. *wink*

In closing, let me add some personal thoughts on the matter.

A license to drive (not all that far removed from a “Licence to Kill”) is, first and foremost, a…

Privilege

Do not abuse it. I’ve been known to have a few scotches or pints *waits for laughs*, and I’ve never hesitated to take a cab or taxi or (failing in cash) walk. Please, do the same. I lost a friend to a drunk driver. She was seven months pregnant. End of sermon.

On a somber note: I inherited my mother’s Jaguar when she passed. It cost me nearly $10,000US to restore it to factory specs. Much like Bond’s Bentley, it’s my locomotive. It “locomotes” every time I turn the key and takes all the above into account when it does.

Enjoy your ride, especially behind the wheel… And make sure you return it to Q in “pristine order”… along with yourself.